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Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Money is something very vital in people’s lives and learning the basic ways on how to manage money resources is very crucial. People can learn a great deal about the value of money and how to use it in a very sensible and rational way to get their essential needs as well as using it as a means to achieve their goals from their young age. So that it is necessary to teach kids the utility of money and how to use it without wasting it on non-important things that will not benefit them. It is can be challenging to get the child grasp the concept of money and how to make them understand that money is very critical mean in every society but not the most crucial thing in the world. Therefore it is very important that schools should teach them that money is the means, not the end. In addition, schools can play a pivotal role in teaching children that having money doesn't simply mean having a great amount of it but means having the resources to accomplish something. They can help them realize that money is just a means of getting them to their goals. Teaching children how to spend money on valuable and useful things and the importance to behave in a charitable manner also is a very important skill that every child needs to acquire. It is very necessary that educational institution also parents should teach children that squander money has bad consequences for them and rationalize any amount of money they have will help them to get what they need. The significance of giving away even a small portion of the money is a very great skill to develop among kids. They can learn how to lend a hand to disadvantaged people and help those who are in need by just giving a small amount of their money. In conclusion, children need to be aware of the value of money and how to use it in a good way for only their necessities and to accomplish their goals. It is important for them to know that wasting money will not be useful for them besides be charitable and helping the unfortunate can make a big difference and will be useful later in life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and learning the basic ways on how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
resources is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can learn a great deal about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensible and rational way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
as well
as using it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
to achieve their goals from their young age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that it is necessary to teach kids the utility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it without wasting it on non-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things that will not benefit them.

It seems that only one verb should be used here.
It is can
be challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the child grasp the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
in every society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the most crucial thing in the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that schools should teach them that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
In addition
, schools can play a pivotal role in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
doesn't
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
having a great amount of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
having the resources to accomplish something. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of getting them to their goals.

Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on valuable and useful things and the importance to behave in a charitable manner
also
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that every child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to acquire. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary that educational institution
also
parents should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that squander
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences for them and rationalize any amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they have will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. The significance of giving away even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to develop among kids. They can learn how to lend a hand to disadvantaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of their money.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be aware of the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their necessities and to accomplish their goals. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to know that wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will not be useful for them
besides
be charitable and helping the unfortunate can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference and will be useful later in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
life
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IELTS essay Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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