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Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. 2XYo
Nowadays only small number of students knows about the importance of money, how to save and spend it wisely. Most of these children were not taught the value of money at home, thus I strongly agree that schools should teach this fundamental life skill so that children know how to be independent and responsible financially. Parents want the best for their children, however it becomes a reason to make them spoiled their children like giving all the things that need and want. As a consequence, these children will be dependent on their family and may spend their parent’s hard-earned money because they are not the ones who worked for it and they do not know its value. That is why schools should organize programs to teach these kids to become independent financially and ask parents as well to cooperate. Students and parents should participate in school fare where the main focus of the program is to impart knowledge on how to be responsible and independent about budgeting money. Abraham Lincoln said “Teach the children so it will not be necessary to teach the adults”. Some parents are busy at work and they have no time to tackle financial management at home. Schools should include and teach financial management to students even at young age, it would be a great start to know the significance of money and how it works in the real world. As a result once they have work and receiving salary, they will know how to allocate budget and spend first for the basic necessities and they will not spend more than what they earn, they will be financial literate and stable to survive in the crucial world. Although there are things in life to be learned at home, I believe that parents need help to develop their children in many aspects, especially in this fast-phased world. As children spend most time in school, it would be great if financial management system will be taught at school to educate the children how to be independent and responsible so even when they become adults and experience struggles financially, they would able to survive as they have foundation on how to handle and save money.
Nowadays
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only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
about the importance of
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money
, how to save and
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spend
it
wisely
. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were not taught the value of
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money
at home,
thus
I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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schools
should
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teach
this fundamental life
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skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and responsible
financially
.

Parents want the best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
however
it becomes a reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them spoiled their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like giving all the things that need and want. As a consequence, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be dependent on their family and may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not the ones who worked for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they do not
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know
its value.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should organize programs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
these kids to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
financially
and ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
to cooperate. Students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fare where the main focus of the program is to impart knowledge on how to be responsible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
about budgeting money.

Abraham Lincoln said
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“Teach
the
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children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will not be necessary to
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teach
the adults”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they have no time to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management at home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should include and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management to students even at young age, it would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and how it works in the real world.
As a result
once they have work and receiving salary, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to allocate budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
first
for the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
and they will not
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spend
more than what they earn, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
literate and stable to survive in the crucial world.

Although there are things in life to
be learned
at home, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects,
especially
in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-phased world. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it would be great if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management system will
be taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even when they become adults and experience struggles
financially
, they
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to survive as they have foundation on how to handle and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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