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vcbgfmkyukyukytkytkjrtjrehrnrndfn

vcbgfmkyukyukytkytkjrtjrehrnrndfn GrxyL
When I was 10 years old, both parents died in a traffic accident. I was completely shocked and thought it was the end of my life. However, I brought up by 70-year-old grandmother who was too old and weak to work. I had to leave school and did odd jobs to earn a living: selling lottery tickets, washing dishes, doing baby sitting. I must do work from morning to evening so I did not spend time going to school. When I was 15, my grandmother was on edge so she encouraged me to attend evening classes. With a lot of effort, I completed secondary education and passed a challenging exam to enter Medical University. Nevertheless, I could not afford enough money to pay tuition fees and had to reject the opportunity. I had try to hard-working and determine to study: thus, I was awarded a scholarship from The Thanh Nien for college students from poor families. This was really a turning point in my life because I could start my university studies and hope for a better future. Six years of hard work at the university and trying to live on a shoestring budget put an end at last. Now I am working as a doctor at a hospital which I always desire. I am planning to set up and run a charitable organisation to help poor students. I have told my own story hoping to encourage other people like me to try something challenging. Poverty is no shame. Do not let poverty defeat you and destroy your hope for a better life. This is my motto.
When I was 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, both parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in a traffic accident. I was completely shocked and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of my life.
However
, I brought up by 70-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
grandmother who was too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and weak to work. I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school and did odd jobs to earn a living: selling lottery tickets, washing dishes, doing baby sitting. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do work from morning to evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I did not spend time going to school. When I was 15, my grandmother was on edge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she encouraged me to attend evening classes. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort, I completed secondary education and passed a challenging exam to enter Medical University.
Nevertheless
, I could not afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to pay tuition fees and had to reject the opportunity. I had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "tried".
try
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and determine to study:
thus
, I
was awarded
a scholarship from The Thanh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nien
for college students from poor families. This was
really
a turning point in my life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my university studies and hope for a better future.

Six years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work at the university and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on a shoestring budget put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at last.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am working as a doctor at a hospital which I always desire. I am planning to set up and run a charitable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor students.

I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
story hoping to encourage other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like me to try something challenging. Poverty is no shame. Do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
poverty defeat you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
your hope for a better life. This is my motto.
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IELTS essay vcbgfmkyukyukytkytkjrtjrehrnrndfn

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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