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Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only necessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only necessary but also dangerous. v. 1
Vaccinating children are becoming increasingly unpopular in some demographic regions. These people believe that it is not only unnecessary, but also dangerous. But is vaccination really dangerous? This essay will discuss why this assumption is not only incorrect, but also why getting immunization is critical for controlling spreadable diseases. Parents are always wary of their children and they naturally feel protective of them. They always want the best and the right things for their children. Thus, the idea of injecting their kids with unknown compounds is a concern for them. Rightfully so, there have been few unfortunate instances where kids have been adversely affected by the immunization. This further confirms their opinion that in addition to being unnecessary it is also hazardous and no parent’s in their right mind would allow it to be done their children. However, these are exceptional cases, and in reality vaccination is very important. Vaccination has helped in eradicating many spreadable diseases, and as a result, those diseases no longer exist. For instance, diseases such as polio and chicken pox have been completely extinct due to immunization. This implies that the number of death's prevented by immunization far outweighs the exceptional cases of its adverse effects. Thus, it plays a vital role in keeping the kid's healthy and disease free. This essay discussed that people who are against vaccination have a flawed understanding of vaccination and underestimate the effects of what they believe. In my opinion, vaccinating children is an absolute imperative that is entirely justified despite the small and occasional risks involved.
Vaccinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming
increasingly
unpopular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demographic regions. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unnecessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is vaccination
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
? This essay will discuss why this assumption is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
incorrect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
why getting immunization is critical for controlling spreadable diseases.

Parents are always wary of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
naturally
feel protective of them. They always want the best and the right things for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of injecting their kids with unknown compounds is a concern for them.
Rightfully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there have been few unfortunate instances where kids have been
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the immunization. This
further
confirms their opinion that
in addition
to being unnecessary it is
also
hazardous and no parent’s in their right mind would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it to
be done
their children.

However
, these are exceptional cases, and in reality vaccination is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Vaccination has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in eradicating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spreadable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, and
as a result
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
no longer exist.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as polio and chicken pox have been completely extinct due to immunization.
This implies that
the number of death's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by immunization far outweighs the exceptional cases of its adverse effects.
Thus
, it plays a vital role in keeping the kid's healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
free.

This essay discussed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are against vaccination have a flawed understanding of vaccination and underestimate the effects of what they believe. In my opinion, vaccinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is an absolute imperative
that is
entirely
justified despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and occasional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only necessary but also dangerous. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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