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Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effect on young children.do you agree or disagree

Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effect on young children. qALd
Over the past few decades, there has been a significant change in technology. it is observed that, if young children use computer excessively, there are chances for more problems than benefits in their life. In my perspective, I completely accord with the statement that the continuous use of computer will be harmful to children. the subsequent article will discuss the problems related to regular usage of computer with a relevant example. Admittedly, the daily usage of computer might affect the studies of children. to explain, since young children have acquired inadequate self-control, they are likely to be addicted to the computer. moreover, these children cannot concentrate properly. as a result, this will affect their academic growth in the future. for instance, a recent government survey concluded that children using the computer for long hours are more likely to develop mental and physical problems. Furthermore, children sitting in front of the computer might show less interest in outdoor activities. to sketch out further, this behaviour seriously hinders their normal physical development. in addition to this, too much exposure to computer games can affect the development of life skill in children. For example, children may fail to develop a meaningful relationship with peer and family. Consequently, they grow up into introvert lacking skill. In conclusion, although there might be some benefits of using computers, I believe excessive and regular use of computers can have detrimental effects on children because their growing up year's, children are supposed to spend more time in the real world.
Over the past few decades, there has been a significant
change
in technology.
it
is observed
that, if young
children
use
computer
excessively
, there are chances for more problems than benefits in their life. In my perspective, I completely accord with the statement that the continuous
use
of computer will be harmful to
children
.
the
subsequent article will discuss the problems related to regular usage of computer with a relevant example.
Admittedly
, the daily usage of computer might affect the studies of
children
.
to
explain
, since young
children
have acquired inadequate self-control, they are likely to
be addicted
to the computer.
moreover
, these
children
cannot concentrate
properly
.
as
a result, this will affect their academic growth in the future.
for
instance, a recent
government
survey concluded that
children
using the computer for long hours are more likely to develop mental and physical problems.
Furthermore
,
children
sitting in front of the computer might
show
less interest in outdoor activities.
to
sketch out
further
, this
behaviour
seriously
hinders their normal physical development.
in
addition to this, too much exposure to computer games can affect the development of life
skill
in
children
.
For example
,
children
may fail to develop a meaningful relationship with peer and family.
Consequently
, they grow up into introvert lacking
skill
.
In conclusion
, although there might be
some
benefits of using computers, I believe excessive and regular
use
of computers can have detrimental effects on
children
because
their growing up year's,
children
are supposed
to spend more time in the real world.
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IELTS essay Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effect on young children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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