Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v.8

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 8
Over the past few decades, the world has been revolutionised with computerisation. In spite of, this trend being a boon to the sectors like Information Technology, Globalization and Networking. It has now become a serious deterrent for young children. This essay will discuss its negative impacts on them. The primary reason is that children are exposed to several health hazards due to over indulgence in the use of computers. Most of the kids nowadays have eyesight problems. This is because of too much exposure to the video display units. For illustration, a child gets more fascinated by playing computer games than outdoor games which naturally makes them idle for longer hours. The reason stated above sows seeds for another connected problem, ” lack of physical activity”. The childhood days are meant to be spent in a hale and healthy way by involving in lots of energetic activities but this has been changed completely with the advent of computers. Further moving on the same track, a lot more children are now being addicted to social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. This is not all, they have become more dependent on the internet for everything and are likely losing their thinking ability. For instance, the younger generation prefers surfing for the details they require for an academic task like assignment which may have been given to test their imagination and cognitive skills. In a nutshell, It is believed that computers are likely causing more detrimental effects like vision, physical activity and more dependency on the internet. Thus, in my opinion, the ideal solution for this could be taken by parents by reducing the usage time of computer and restricting few sites on the internet to make use of technology in a constructive way.
Over the past few decades, the world has been
revolutionised
with
computerisation
.
In spite of
, this trend being a boon to the sectors like Information Technology, Globalization and Networking. It has
now
become a serious deterrent for young children. This essay will discuss its
negative
impacts on them.

The primary reason is that children
are exposed
to several health hazards due to over indulgence in the
use
of computers. Most of the kids nowadays have eyesight problems. This is
because
of too much exposure to the video display units. For illustration, a child
gets
more fascinated by playing computer games than outdoor games which
naturally
makes
them idle for longer hours.

The reason stated above sows seeds for another connected problem,
lack of physical activity”. The childhood days
are meant
to
be spent
in a hale and healthy way by involving in lots of energetic activities
but
this has been
changed
completely with the advent of computers.

Further
moving on the same
track
, a lot more children are
now
being addicted
to social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. This is not all, they have become more dependent on the internet for everything and are likely losing their thinking ability.
For instance
, the younger generation prefers surfing for the
details
they require for an academic task like assignment which may have been
given
to
test
their imagination and cognitive
skills
.

In a nutshell, It
is believed
that computers are likely causing more detrimental effects like vision, physical activity and more dependency on the internet.
Thus
, in my opinion, the ideal solution for this could
be taken
by parents by reducing the usage time of computer and restricting few sites on the internet to
make
use
of technology
in a constructive way
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts