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Urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discuss both views and give your opinion 1mwjA
Un-utilized space in the urban areas is very precious and costly and It is thought by some that open spaces in the cities should be utilized by making parks for the public instead of making housing projects. In My view, these lands should be developed in the interest of the public in the lights of parks and green spaces. Housing societies and projects are crucial for supporting the living needs of Urbanites. The reason is the increment of population and depletion of the backcountry. For example, in most of the developing countries like Pakistan India Bangladesh, due to economic crises, these backlands never get developed and almost no chances of employment there with that due reason people are forced to shift to the cities. This dilemma creates pressure in bigger cities to develop housing societies in their free lands. Hence, in those circumstances, these government open spaces play a vital role to accommodate many people. On the other hand, I believe that public parks are very essential for the people b, cos it is just not good for their health even it is very important for the environment for example if we keep making those concrete jungles one after the other this will impact the global warming and people will not find the place where they can ease their nerve and do physical training for their wellbeing. we already know the traffic in the bigger cosmopolitan cities which produce lots of pollution and making these housing societies will double the impact on the environment. Thus, public parks play a significant role in our life and environment. To Sum up, housing projects are important in some circumstances, but public parks and green spaces have their own significance they impact the overall environment and human beings.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Un-utilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in the urban areas is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious and costly and It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should
be utilized
by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
instead
of making housing projects. In My view, these lands should
be developed
in the interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
in the lights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and green spaces.

Housing societies and projects are crucial for supporting the living needs of Urbanites. The reason is the increment of population and depletion of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
backcountry
.
For example
, in most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Pakistan India Bangladesh, due to economic crises, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
backlands
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
developed and almost no chances of employment there with that due reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to shift to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This dilemma creates pressure in bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to develop housing societies in their free lands.
Hence
, in those circumstances, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
play a vital role to accommodate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
b, cos it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health even it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the environment
for example
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
making those concrete jungles one after the other this will impact the global warming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not find the place where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their nerve and do physical training for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
already know the traffic in the bigger cosmopolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which produce lots of pollution and making these housing societies will double the impact on the environment.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
play a significant role in our life and environment.

To Sum up, housing projects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance they impact the
overall
environment and human beings.
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IELTS essay Urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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