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University students often focus in one subject . however some people think that that universities should encourage a range of others subjects.to what extent do you agree

University students often focus in one subject. however some people think that that universities should encourage a range of others subjects. to what extent do you agree 3BKn
It is indeed true that most of the time university students pay attention to a particular subject. However, some people put forth the argument that the universities should also encourage students to learn a variety of subjects. While I admit to a certain extent that it is beneficial to have knowledge of various / multiple subjects, I believe that providing attention to one particular subject helps to attain specialization and expertise in that particular stream. It is undeniable that providing utmost attention to a single subject would help the individuals to attain perfection in that. This is because students will spend most of their time studying and reading the relevant material. As a result, they will gain deeper knowledge / understanding of that subject. For example, the majority of the students admitted to an engineering college turn out to be engineers, scientists or researchers. Furthermore, focusing entirely on a single subject eliminates the chance of distraction among the students which is more likely to happen in case wider choices are available to them. To illustrate, some students do not possess a clear mindset when they take admission to colleges. Hence, if they have only a limited choice of subjects it does not create confusion in their minds about what subject to opt for. On the other hand, if university students learned a lot of subjects, they will have a decent understanding of a variety of subjects. This is useful for someone who has no intention of finding a specialist job. However, if a person wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, they need in-depth understanding of those subjects and it is not practically possible for them to learn several subjects at school. For example, a student aspiring to be a doctor or an engineer does not have to learn history or geography at college. In conclusion, though pursuing multiple subjects at university enables students to have a broad understanding of all of those subjects, in my opinion, it is important for them to focus on just one or two subjects to gain in depth knowledge and specialization.
It is
indeed
true that most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay attention to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put forth the argument that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. While I admit to a certain extent that it is beneficial to have knowledge of various / multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, I believe that providing attention to one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to attain specialization and expertise in that particular stream.

It is undeniable that providing utmost attention to a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the individuals to attain perfection in that. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will spend most of their time studying and reading the relevant material.
As a result
, they will gain deeper knowledge /
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
For example
, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admitted to an engineering college turn out to be engineers, scientists or researchers.
Furthermore
, focusing
entirely
on a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
eliminates the chance of distraction among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which is more likely to happen in case wider choices are available to them. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not possess a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mindset when they take admission to colleges.
Hence
, if they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a limited choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
it does not create confusion in their minds about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to opt for.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they will have a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This is useful for someone who has no intention of finding a specialist job.
However
, if a person wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, they need in-depth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and it is not
practically
possible for them to learn several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at school.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
aspiring to be a doctor or an engineer does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn history or geography at college.

In conclusion
, though pursuing multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of all of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to gain in depth knowledge and specialization.
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IELTS essay University students often focus in one subject. however some people think that that universities should encourage a range of others subjects. to what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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