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University students must pay all cost associated with their education because it benifits mostly them individually rather than the society as well as whole.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

University students must pay all cost associated with their education because it benifits mostly them individually rather than the society as well as whole. with this statement. OQVj
Answer: With awareness continually growing people of extraordinary understanding the world over turn to the issue of bearing total educational expense of university students in their academic period. As a consequence, there has been, in recent years a growing body of thought in favor of paying from students because it helps students personally rather more than socially. I, to the fullest extent subscribe to this nation and will go deep into the matter before drawing conclusion. Paying all the educational expenses from students exert a significant influence on their career and learning. In other words, it is undeniable that university spends a hefty amount of money for providing remuneration of teachers, research to name but few in every year for securing best educational service to their students. Moreover, in many times university needs hiring faculty members from another country to support in research based education. It is not possible to arrange a reputed faculty without proper funding. If students paid all the expenses in their academic period university can invite very famous and knowledgeable person to conduct their class. As a result students can learn many practical and professional experience from a scholar teacher which will help them on their personal life to getting a job and research than society. Another noteworthy point is that, bearing of university cost by students can help for government to expand job opportunity in near future for students. To be more precise, in every year government is subsidizing to all university by financially for bearing students educational expenses. Which is significantly supporting all the students to become graduate. If students take the responsibility of all the cost, which government is spending for their education, will save a big amount of money. This surplus amount can invest to create new job sector for upcoming graduates. Hence, after completion of education no student will suffer by curse of unemployment. In many countries, government appoints fresh educated person to their new establishment vacant section. Which help a student enter in job market without any experience. It is possible because of that, students had contributed in their academic period with bearing expenses. As a consequence, students can help their family after completion of studies, which is more important for individual rather than society. In essence, having thoroughly analyzed the pros and cons of bearing university expenses by students, it has to be avowed that the significant of it is indeterminable. Hence, except for a person with a tendency to nurture and unwise decision analyzed would support my standpoint, for the arguments mentioned above leave no scope for further debate.
Answer:

With awareness
continually
growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of extraordinary understanding the world over turn to the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bearing
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their academic period.

As a consequence, there has been, in recent years a growing body of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in favor of paying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
personally
rather
more than
socially
. I, to the fullest extent subscribe to this nation and will go deep into the matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing conclusion.

Paying all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
expenses from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
exert a significant influence on their career and learning.
In other words
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
spends a hefty amount of money for providing remuneration of teachers, research to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
few in every year for
A determiner is probably missing here: "securing the best".
securing best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
service to their students.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
needs hiring faculty members from another country to support in research based education. It is not possible to arrange a reputed faculty without proper funding. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
paid all the expenses in their academic period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and knowledgeable person to conduct their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical and professional experience from a scholar teacher which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them on their personal life to getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and research than society.

Another noteworthy point is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bearing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
cost by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity in near future for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To be more precise, in every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is subsidizing to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
by
financially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
expenses.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is
significantly
supporting all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become graduate. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take the responsibility of all the cost, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is spending for their education, will save a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money. This surplus amount can invest to create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sector for upcoming graduates.
Hence
, after completion of education no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will suffer by curse of unemployment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
appoints fresh educated person to their new establishment vacant section.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
enter in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market without any experience. It is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had contributed in their academic period with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bearing
expenses. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their family after completion of studies, which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for individual
rather
than society.

In essence, having
thoroughly
analyzed the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
expenses by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be avowed
that
The phrase 'the significant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the significant of
it is indeterminable.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
a person with a tendency to nurture and unwise decision analyzed would support my standpoint, for the arguments mentioned above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no scope for
further
debate.
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IELTS essay University students must pay all cost associated with their education because it benifits mostly them individually rather than the society as well as whole. with this statement.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
431 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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