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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies v.17

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies v. 17
Many University students routinely study in other institutes around the world as part of their degree. Although studying in foreign countries enables the student to experience different work environment, they are substantially expensive. In my opinion, students benefit more by studying abroad even though they have to pay a significant amount of money. One of the main advantages of studying abroad is that student will have the opportunity to experience a distinct work culture of that region which would have been impossible if they had studied in their own place. The knowledge students gain from these set-up will make them to excel in their career when compared to other students. For example, the recruitment record of Tesla incorporation shows that more than 50 percent of their employees are graduates with international internship experience. Therefore, these working conditions make a profound impact on the future of the students. On the other hand, studying overseas require money not only to pay the University but also for the living. Although students can support themselves by part time jobs, not all nations provide this chance to foreigners. Some students realize that they are unable to afford to live in other countries in the later half of the college and eventually quit to return home. This is a serious issue as they may not receive any certificate. For instance, when I studied in the UK, four of my Indian friends had to quit the training as they could not pay fees for final year and the college could not issue them with certificates. Thus, studying abroad requires paramount fund as it is expensive. To conclude, there is a significant increase in the number of pupils who prefer to study in foreign countries as part of their program. While this is costly it will ultimately lead the student to train in different workplaces. Thus, I believe a broad education is more advantageous than disadvantageous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
routinely
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
institutes around the world as part of their degree. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in foreign countries enables the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
work environment, they are
substantially
expensive. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
benefit more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad
even though
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a significant amount of money.

One of the main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will have the opportunity to experience a distinct work culture of that region which would have been impossible if they had studied in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place. The knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain from
Did you mean "this set-up" or "these set-ups"?
these set-up
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to excel in their career when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, the recruitment record of Tesla incorporation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 50 percent of their employees are graduates with international internship experience.
Therefore
, these working conditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profound impact on the future of the students.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas require money not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to pay the University
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the living. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can support themselves by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs, not all nations provide this chance to foreigners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
realize that they are unable to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries in the later half of the college and
eventually
quit to return home. This is a serious issue as they may not receive any certificate.
For instance
, when I studied in the UK, four of my Indian friends had to quit the training as they could not pay fees for final year and the college could not issue them with certificates.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad requires paramount fund as it is expensive.

To conclude
, there is a significant increase in the number of pupils who prefer to study in foreign countries as part of their program.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
this is costly it will
ultimately
lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to train in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
workplaces.
Thus
, I believe a broad education is more advantageous than disadvantageous.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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