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University should enrol equal number of st

University should enrol equal number of st xxboQ
The issue of diversity in terms of gender in every subject that university offers is taken a serious issue for a discussion by education reformists. In my opinion, education institutions have to enroll equal percentage of men and women in all subjects. This essay presents two arguments why the academic institutions should have to prioritize gender balance in the offered programs. First of all, ensuring representation of equal number of male and female in every discipline helps to create a unique learning platform in the classroom. Students from various social backgrounds can understand and perceive the theories differently. They use their lived experiences in order to analyze the theories which help other colleagues to learn various realities of society. Furthermore, this eventually will help to present critical perspectives on the taken-for-granted theories. For example, nowadays, a number of international academy admit international student as they thought diversity in the classroom enhance student’s learning performance. Secondly, theeducational institution are the pillar of a nation for theadvancement, therefore, they should not discriminate students regardless of gender. Every citizen has right to participate in the the development process. If the universities do not enroll certain gender people, they will be excluded from getting education and which will ultimately deprive them of participation in development process. The other most important thing is that universities are democratic institution which also should have to follow country’s laws and policies related to gender inclusion. Therefore, they have to give admission to equal number of men and women consequently all the sections of society can participate in development. Therefore, I believe, schools ought to have equal number of men and women to ensure diversity and contribute nation development. Moreover, universities are the nation’s important formal institutions who should have to follow inclusive governing rules of the state.
The issue of diversity in terms of gender in every subject that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
offers
is taken
a serious issue for a discussion by education reformists. In my opinion, education institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
enroll
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in all subjects. This essay presents two arguments why the academic institutions should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prioritize gender balance in the offered programs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, ensuring representation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male and female in every discipline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create a unique learning platform in the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
from various social backgrounds can understand and perceive the theories
differently
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
experiences in order to analyze the theories which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other colleagues to learn various realities of society.
Furthermore
, this
eventually
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to present critical perspectives on the taken-for-granted theories.
For example
, nowadays, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of international academy admit international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
diversity in the classroom enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
learning performance.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
theeducational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
are the pillar of a nation for
Possible spelling mistake found.
theadvancement
,
therefore
, they should not discriminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regardless of gender. Every citizen has right to participate in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
development process. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
do not enroll certain gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they will
be excluded
from getting education and which will
ultimately
deprive them of participation in development process. The other most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
institution
which
also
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow country’s laws and policies related to gender inclusion.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
consequently
all the sections of society can participate in development.

Therefore
, I believe, schools ought to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women to ensure diversity and contribute nation development.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are the nation’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
formal institutions who should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow inclusive governing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the state.
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IELTS essay University should enrol equal number of st

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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