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University is limited to only “good students”?

University is limited to only “good students”? y7jVV
Whether only “good students” should study in college seems to be controversial. While some people claim that everyone should have their chance to study in these places, others do not feel like that. In my opinion, universities shouldn’t limit to only the excellent ones. First of all, the education standard in schools is not equally. An enormous quantity of people can not study in a high-quality school because of their finances and their place. Subsequently, many ace students can not show their best, which prevent them from entering the university. If only good students are chosen to study in this environment, it will be unfair for the others, especially for the poor. Therefore, giving more chances and treat all people equally is the key to help students to prove themselves and develop the country much more effectively. Moreover, if a university only chooses good students, it will gradually harm students’ soft skills. It’s a fact that each student has their strengths and weaknesses, thus, if a college only chooses students who have proficient academic skills, students will tend not to develop others skills. It leads to a lack of knowledge about soft skills and social news. As a consequence, when these people go to the outside world, they will immediately awkward to do any basic things. Let’s take my cousin as a telling example. He has many academic achievements and has studied at one of the highest quality schools, but he gradually weakens his social skills. Consequently, his family is always in a stressful mood, and they feel hopeless for him. Therefore, to prevent students from becoming a machine, we should not only base on only students’ academic performance. In a nutshell, I think that universities shouldn’t limit to only good students. Moreover, students need to balance academic performance and soft skills to ensure their knowledge is enough for higher education.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
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only
“
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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students”
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in college seems to be controversial. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that everyone should have their chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in these places, others do not feel like that. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
shouldn’t limit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the excellent ones.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the education standard in schools is not
equally
. An enormous quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a high-quality school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their finances and their place.
Subsequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their best, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are chosen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in this environment, it will be unfair for the others,
especially
for the poor.
Therefore
, giving more chances and treat all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
equally
is the key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to prove themselves and develop the country much more
effectively
.

Moreover
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
chooses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it will
gradually
harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It’s a fact that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has their strengths and weaknesses,
thus
, if a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
chooses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have proficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will tend not to develop others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It leads to a lack of knowledge about soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and social news. As a consequence, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the outside world, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will immediately awkward
to do any basic things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take my cousin as a telling example. He has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements and has studied at one of the highest quality schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
gradually
weakens his social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Consequently
, his family is always in a stressful mood, and they feel hopeless for him.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from becoming a machine, we should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
base on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance.

In a nutshell, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
shouldn’t limit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to ensure their knowledge is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for higher education.
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IELTS essay University is limited to only “good students”?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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