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Should people have the right to own a gun ?

Should people have the right to own a gun? kx8PK
People should not have their right to own guns. Guns are the most dangerous weapon on the planet. People who want to own guns have to run the test and have a certificate that proves people can fully control the gun. Moreover, many countries have a lot of crime because of guns. Many people can not control themselves from emotions, for instance anger or sadness. They might heat themselves or people around them. In the worst scenario, they might kill somebody or themselves. However, the main reason why people should not have the right to own guns is that people can not take risks from people who can not control themselves from those emotions. In thailand there is a problem about people feel anger to another people and kill them by gun, because there lost control from them self and feel deep with the emotion. Second, guns are the most powerful weapons. It can murder someone with only one hit or threats some one to do what every people that own gun want. Mostly, people use the gun in a bad way, to threaten other people. Lastly, having a gun at home can be dranger from children. Children might shoot the gun for fun but it can hit other people randomly. In conclusion, people should not have the right to own guns for their safety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should not have their right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Guns
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
weapon on the planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and have a certificate that proves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
themselves from emotions,
for instance
anger or sadness. They might heat themselves or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them. In the worst scenario, they might kill somebody or themselves.
However
, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
themselves from those emotions. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
thailand
there is a problem about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel anger to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and kill them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
from them self and feel deep with the emotion. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
are the most powerful weapons. It can murder someone with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one hit or threats
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
to do what every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
want.
Mostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way, to threaten other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Lastly
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
at home can
Possible spelling mistake found.
be dranger
from children. Children might shoot the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
for fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can hit other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
randomly
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
for their safety.
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IELTS essay Should people have the right to own a gun?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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