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university education is all about gettin better job.

university education is all about gettin better job. RNwXo
For some people, university education is all about getting better jobs after graduation. Others, on the other hand, think that there are deeper meanings of university education. I also tend to think like them because I think that university education provides people a better understanding and also teaches people to respect other beliefs and views. The main purpose of academic education is to teach how to build ideas logically. To do that, education starts with the basics of science, and afterwhile teachers try to give the details. Therefore, this education shows you that how thoughts should be structured concretely. With learning this method you can understand different research or create your own research effectively. For example, if you try to read Freud directly without knowing anything about philosophy, you probably would not understand anything. However, if you use the pattern that you learned from academic education you definitely would read introductory books about philosophy before you go for details. In universities, students can socialize easily, which makes them meet with many people. They can enroll in many courses or they can attend many student parties and so on. In these activities, students see people from various backgrounds and they learn their cultures and behaviors. So, students learn how to respects others' beliefs and thoughts before they start their careers. To sum up, although university education helps people to get hired easily, I believe that there are more aims of academic education such as teaching people how to understand different research and making people get used to with others' beliefs and ideas.
For
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some
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people
,
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university
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education
is all about getting better jobs after graduation. Others,
on the other hand
,
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think
that there are deeper meanings of
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
also
tend to
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think
like them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
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think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides
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people
a better understanding and
also
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to respect other beliefs and views.

The main purpose of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to teach how to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
logically
. To do that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with the basics of science, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
afterwhile
teachers try to give the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
you that how thoughts should
be structured
concretely
. With learning this method you can understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
research or create your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
research
effectively
.
For example
, if you try to read Freud
directly
without knowing anything about philosophy, you
probably
would not understand anything.
However
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the pattern that you learned from academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
you definitely would read introductory books about philosophy
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before
you go for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

In
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universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can socialize
easily
, which
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makes
them
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meet
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They can enroll in
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many
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
courses or
they can attend
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many
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student
parties and
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so
on. In these activities,
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
backgrounds and
they learn their cultures and behaviors.
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So
,
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students
learn how to respects others' beliefs and thoughts
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before
they
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start
their careers.

To sum up, although
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
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get
hired
easily
, I believe that there are more aims of academic
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education
such as teaching
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people
how to understand
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different
research and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to with others' beliefs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
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IELTS essay university education is all about gettin better job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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