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Universities should accept the equal number of students in every subject do what extend do you agree, give your opinion

Universities should accept the equal number of students in every subject do what extend do you agree, give your opinion VByV6
In many countries these days, women are equally taking part in academic activities such as men and they prove that, they are skilled just like others. Although it's true, but another factor to consider is men and women are different in gender just like that, their ideas, thoughts, feelings and priorities also differ from each other. Therefore I agree with the Statement, which said the same number of students for similar courses. Firstly, I believe that everyone should have a freedom to choose what he or she wants to be in their life, so let them decide first because no one can achieve success in life by doing something forcefully. It could negatively affect in short term and even in the long term. Secondly, boys are more interested in engineering and information technology's subject rather than girls are more concern towards fashion designing and lectureship. So how can we force one to do something they don't like or prefer in their life, further more it's against the nature. To those who argue that equal boys and girls in the same subject class is the way to make positive change, I would like to point out that artificially imposing rules had not always had a desired effect. It is the fact that every nation needs the good doctors, lawyers, scientists, chief, fashion designers, teachers and engineers to make their country developed. Needless to say that, who become what? Man can be a cook and women could be a scientist, it's absolutely their personal choice and interest. To sum up, I believe that making such decision can make society imbalance, rather it is the question of giving equal education or changing mindset, so that who choose their career by heart will able to show best of it.
In
many
countries these days, women are
equally
taking part in academic activities such as
men and
they prove that, they
are skilled
just
like others. Although it's true,
but
another factor to consider is
men
and women are
different
in gender
just
like that, their
ideas
, thoughts, feelings and priorities
also
differ from each other.
Therefore
I
agree
with the Statement, which said the same number of students for similar courses.

Firstly
, I believe that everyone should have
a freedom
to choose what he or she wants to be in their life,
so
let
them decide
first
because
no one can achieve success in life by doing something
forcefully
. It could
negatively
affect
in short term and even in the long term.

Secondly
, boys are more interested in engineering and information technology's subject
rather
than girls are more concern towards fashion designing and lectureship.
So
how can we force one to do something they don't like or prefer in their life,
further
more it's against the nature.

To those who argue that equal boys and girls in the same subject
class
is the way to
make
positive
change
, I would like to point out that
artificially
imposing
rules
had not always had a desired effect.

It is the fact that every nation needs the
good
doctors, lawyers, scientists, chief, fashion designers, teachers and engineers to
make
their country developed. Needless to say that, who become what?
Man
can be a cook and women could be a scientist, it's
absolutely
their personal choice and interest.

To sum up, I believe that making such decision can
make
society imbalance,
rather
it is the question of giving equal education or changing mindset,
so
that who choose their career by heart
will able
to
show
best of it.
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IELTS essay Universities should accept the equal number of students in every subject do what extend do you agree, give your opinion

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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