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universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subjects. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

first of all, schools or widely universities include their own rules especially about genders all over the world. Indeed, the gender issue is not only demonstrated in education system or occupation. In fact, it is supposed to be shown in every background. Additionally, there are many reasons which provide such a question that why male or female have to be different from each other. Basically this subject have influenced various parts of the society, specifically in this phenomenon. Normally, it has been accepted that obtaining the highest situation for male is more important than providing the same condition for female. The reason is people who believe that male are the main point and clearly they have been the power of procreation from the very beginning and that's why everything has been managed to be convenient for male even at universities and education system. Besides, female are extremely under the pressure of sexual inequality and from this point of view, the basic responsibility for them is to train children and administer the subject 'family'. Therefore, in diverse parts of the universe, we are able to observe that universities made a difference between applying male and female. For example, mostly in developing countries it is clear that this problem is much more distinguished. Moreover, it has to be specify that the role of women however is not more than men but it is as equal as it. Universities must emphasize the female's impression and not to ignore it deliberately. Gender should not has the power of underestimating one's abilities and it must not limit a creature's talents. Discriminating will have made a huge disaster in cultural and even modern life. Eventually, if both male and female have the opportunity to show up and if it begins with education, it shall be a great way to establish advanced factors of living and as well improved future generations. Generally this may have been a found for equilibrium.
first
of all, schools or
widely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
include their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
especially
about genders all over the world.
Indeed
, the gender issue is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
demonstrated in education system or occupation. In fact, it
is supposed
to
be shown
in every background.
Additionally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which provide such a question that why male or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from each other.
Basically
this subject have influenced various parts of the society,
specifically
in this phenomenon.

Normally
, it has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that obtaining the highest situation for male is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than providing the same condition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
. The reason is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that male are the main point and
clearly
they have been the power of procreation from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning and that's why everything has
been managed
to be convenient for male even at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and education system.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are
extremely
under the pressure of sexual inequality and from this point of view, the basic responsibility for them is to train children and administer the subject 'family'.
Therefore
, in diverse parts of the universe, we are able to observe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
made a difference between applying male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
For example
,
mostly
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this problem is much more distinguished.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be specify that the role of women
however
is not more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is as equal as it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
emphasize the female's impression and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it
deliberately
. Gender should not has the power of underestimating one's abilities and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not limit a creature's talents. Discriminating will have made a huge disaster in cultural and even modern life.

Eventually
, if both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up and if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with education, it shall be a great way to establish advanced factors of living and
as well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
future generations.
Generally
this may have been a found for equilibrium.
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IELTS essay universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subjects.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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