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UNIVERSITIES SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

It is often thought that higher educational institutes must offer all courses to all males and females. I completely agree with this opinion and think equal opportunities for every student can completely transform our society. First of all, young girls are becoming more and more passionate and thoughtful about their career choices. In other words, females are exploring a different field of studies which never thought to be offered to them in the past. Whenever both genders are offered the same courses, results are awe-inspiring and promising. For example, no one ever imagined that the NASA Mars mission would comprise four females and two males. It shows that women are equally capable of performing challenging tasks, providing solid education on higher and universities level. Offering the same courses will help them pursue careers and jobs in which they want to work. Secondly, offering the same subjects to males and females will create equal opportunities for both in the job market. It has been observed that some courses or fields of work are dominated by one gender. For instance, a mechanical engineering department in universities reserves only 2 % of seats for female students. Another example is of a gynecology department, where only 1 % of males are offered admissions. This unequal distribution of seats will impact competition in the job market for young graduates. In conclusion, universities must offer their courses to males and females equally because it will help them in recognize their potential and give them equal job opportunities in the future.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that higher educational institutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
offer all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
equal opportunities for every student can completely transform our society.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, young girls are becoming more and more passionate and thoughtful about their career choices.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are exploring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field of studies which never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
be offered
to them in the past. Whenever both genders
are offered
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, results are awe-inspiring and promising.
For example
, no one ever imagined that the NASA Mars mission would comprise four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that women are
equally
capable of performing challenging tasks, providing solid education on higher and universities level. Offering the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them pursue careers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in which they want to work.

Secondly
, offering the same subjects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
will create equal opportunities for both in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market. It has
been observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or fields of work
are dominated
by one gender.
For instance
, a mechanical engineering department in universities reserves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 % of seats for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students. Another example is of a gynecology department, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
are offered
admissions. This unequal distribution of seats will impact competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market for young graduates.

In conclusion
, universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in recognize their potential and give them equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in the future.
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IELTS essay UNIVERSITIES SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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