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Uniforms should be banned in school. children should be free to wear what they like. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Uniforms should be banned in school. children should be free to wear what they like. v. 2
Certain experts believe that students ought to be provided the liberty of wearing clothes of their choice by banning the school uniforms. If asked, I completely disagree with this notion. This essay will discuss few arguments for my opinion as well as the other side, followed by a reasoned conclusion. To begin with, learners having freedom of dressing of their own will create social differences. Since, youngsters from rich family would be bifurcated in the school, the poor might face several injustice. For example, being aware of the social status, pupils of economically weaker section in school are restricted to participate in several sports. In addition, it may also affect the mental development of the students. As the confidence of the destitute students, unable to dress well in school, would be crumbled by looking to the children of the richer section. Conversely, autonomy of dressing style of young generation in school would make them overjoyed. While the students allowed to wear fashionable clothes are relieved from the stress of wearing a particular uniform, they feel relaxed and ecstatic. For instance, few schools allowing free style clothes on last day of every month makes their students cheerful. However, such type of culture has lead to an unwanted situation of economic crisis for the poor families where the adolescents do ask forcefully their parents to purchase expensive clothes. In conclusion, while people may vary in their thoughts, I strongly believe that no choice should be given against wearing the uniform at school level as it creates difference in their social status and resist the improvement in mental capacity.
Certain experts believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to
be provided
the liberty of wearing clothes of their choice by banning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniforms. If asked, I completely disagree with this notion. This essay will discuss few arguments for my opinion
as well
as the other side, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, learners having freedom of dressing of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will create social differences. Since, youngsters from rich family would
be bifurcated
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the poor might face
Possible agreement error. The noun injustice seems to be countable; consider using: "several injustices".
several injustice
.
For example
, being aware of the social status, pupils of
economically
weaker section in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are restricted
to participate in several sports.
In addition
, it may
also
affect the mental development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As the confidence of the destitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, unable to dress well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, would
be crumbled
by looking to the children of the richer section.

Conversely
, autonomy of dressing style of young generation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them overjoyed. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Did you mean "wearing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to wear
fashionable clothes
are relieved
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of wearing a particular uniform, they feel relaxed and ecstatic.
For instance
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
allowing free style clothes on last day of every month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cheerful.
However
, such type of culture has lead to an unwanted situation of economic crisis for the poor families where the adolescents do ask
forcefully
their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive clothes.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their thoughts, I
strongly
believe that no choice should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
against wearing the uniform at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level as it creates difference in their social status and resist the improvement in mental capacity.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Uniforms should be banned in school. children should be free to wear what they like. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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