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Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think secondary education is necessary. What’s your opinion?

Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think secondary education is necessary. What’s your opinion? MePN
Nowadays, an increasing number of people cannot find jobs in many countries. Some people argue that students only need to receive primary education, while others believe secondary education is necessary. Before presenting my opinion, it is necessary for me to probe into both sides of the issue. Those who say that only primary education should be there, feel that education has little influence on finding a job. To begin with, the competition for jobs is increasingly tough since there are more and more job seekers. Definitely, no matter what level education a person receives, he or she has to go to find a job finally, facing some competition. Therefore, the earlier one goes to find a position, the better for a person. Furthermore, they think people can acquire the technique through work instead of school. In other words, school education does not provide practical technique for factories. It is unnecessary for people to receive more education than primary courses. On the other hand, those who believe that secondary education is necessary think that secondary education will offer more knowledge for people who plan to work, which can get them better paid jobs. However, both the two issues neglect the great impacts of education on the development of individuals. In my opinion, it is necessary for individuals to receive as much education as possible before they go to work. Firstly, college or university education plays a key role in the development of individuals. Secondly, education will definitely enhance the competition for work. The more education one receives, the more opportunities for jobs he will have. For instance, more companies are recruiting new employees with a bachelor or master degree recently since the employment is very hard-to-get, with today’s financial crisis. Last but not least, receiving more education will widen one's horizons. Some of them, maybe, set up their own business, creating a new approach to unemployment. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, although primary education is sufficient for some kinds of work, I firmly believe that people should receive higher education before they go to work.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
cannot find
jobs
in
many
countries.
Some
people
argue that students
only
need to
receive
primary
education
, while others believe secondary
education
is
necessary
.
Before
presenting my opinion, it is
necessary
for me to probe into both sides of the issue. Those who say that
only
primary
education
should be there, feel that
education
has
little
influence on finding a
job
. To
begin
with, the competition for
jobs
is
increasingly
tough since there are more and more
job
seekers. Definitely, no matter what level
education
a person
receives
, he or she
has to
go to find a
job
finally
, facing
some
competition.
Therefore
, the earlier one goes to find a position, the better for a person.
Furthermore
, they
think
people
can acquire the technique through
work
instead
of school.
In other words
, school
education
does not provide practical technique for factories. It is unnecessary for
people
to
receive
more
education
than
primary
courses.
On the other hand
, those who believe that secondary
education
is
necessary
think
that secondary
education
will offer more knowledge for
people
who plan to
work
, which can
get
them better paid
jobs
.
However
, both the two issues neglect the great impacts of
education
on the development of individuals. In my opinion, it is
necessary
for individuals to
receive
as much
education
as possible
before
they go to
work
.
Firstly
, college or university
education
plays a key role in the development of individuals.
Secondly
,
education
will definitely enhance the competition for
work
. The more
education
one
receives
, the more opportunities for
jobs
he will have.
For instance
, more
companies
are recruiting new employees with a bachelor or master degree recently since the employment is
very
hard
-to-
get
, with
today
’s financial crisis. Last
but
not least, receiving more
education
will widen one's horizons.
Some
of them, maybe, set up their
own
business, creating a new approach to unemployment. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, although
primary
education
is sufficient for
some
kinds of
work
, I
firmly
believe that
people
should
receive
higher
education
before
they go to
work
.
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IELTS essay Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think secondary education is necessary. What’s your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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