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Unemployment and violence

Unemployment and violence 3xbbn
Almost half the world’s population now live in urban areas and, as cities grow even larger, conditions for city dwellers are likely to get worse. Two of the most critical problems, it can be argued, are unemployment and violence rates. As the cities grows and improve their general technology, it is possible to observe an increase unemployment level. Many aspects can be discussed within this topic, been the lack of qualification in high tech times one of them. In order to minimize this problem, it would be of great use to offer courses and general qualification, both to maintain individuals in their area improving their skills and offering new knowledge, so it will be possible to even change their main fields. The second problem that was pointed is violence. Studies suggest that part of criminality originates from situations in with the offender was out of legal and socially acceptable solutions, being the environment one of the variables that are important. In its sense, it is reasonable to think that levels of violence and unemployment, although might not be equal, are related. As it so, the first possible solution would be to really put some effort developing society’s abilities, minimizing environment propensities. The second one would be education that in any aspect guide to a diminishing of violence. A well-educated society is a society more prepared to market need’s, is a society better prepared to respect other ones rights, which minimizes that propensity to rage crimes. A more conscious society is less likely to gender, ethnical and sex orientation prejudice, things that by themselves guide to less violence and criminality. These, alone, are not solutions to any of the problems, but are important and connected suggestions that tend to improve the actual status of them.
Almost half the world’s population
now
live
in urban areas and, as cities grow even larger, conditions for city dwellers are likely to
get
worse. Two of the most critical
problems
, it can
be argued
, are unemployment and
violence
rates.

As the cities grows and
improve
their general technology, it is possible to observe an increase unemployment level.
Many
aspects can
be discussed
within this topic, been the lack of qualification in high tech times one of them. In order to minimize this
problem
, it would be of great
use to
offer courses and general qualification, both to maintain individuals in their area improving their
skills
and offering new knowledge,
so
it will be possible to even
change
their main fields.

The second
problem
that
was pointed
is
violence
. Studies suggest that part of criminality originates from situations in with the offender was out of legal and
socially
acceptable solutions, being the environment one of the variables that are
important
. In its sense, it is reasonable to
think
that levels of
violence
and unemployment, although might not be equal,
are related
. As it
so
, the
first
possible solution would be to
really
put
some
effort developing
society’s
abilities, minimizing environment propensities. The second one would be education that in any aspect guide to a diminishing of
violence
. A well-educated
society
is a
society
more prepared to market need’s, is a
society
better prepared to respect other ones rights, which minimizes that propensity to rage crimes. A more conscious
society
is less likely to gender, ethnical and sex orientation prejudice, things that by themselves guide to less
violence
and criminality. These, alone, are not solutions to any of the
problems
,
but
are
important
and connected suggestions that tend to
improve
the actual status of them.
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IELTS essay Unemployment and violence

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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