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Unemployment among highly graduates

Unemployment among highly graduates 2bq2X
It is clear that society has changed over the last decades, but some problems might still remain present, like unemployment. Unfortunately, it is very common for people who have advanced degrees to be unemployed. New paths have been opened and people who would not think that they could study now they are able to do so. For instance, it is very common in Spain to finish high school and to study a higher degree, that would lead you to have a better job and position in society. Even though the number of highly graduates has increased significantly, job positions have not increased that much, which leads to unemployment. That is why the easiest solution would be to create new job positions so all these unemployed people can work as what they studied to be. Additionally, life expectancy has risen noticeably, which means that there is a bigger percentage of older people. Those people might retire and live, easily, for another 20 or 25 years. Every one of those years they are retired, they get paid by the government. The problem is, anyway, with the rise of life expectancy it is not worth it to government to spend that much money on them. Therefore, they have been increasing the age required for retirement; hence older people who would have retired years ago are still working, not allowing younger people have a stable job. I believe that if we paid a little more in taxes, pensions for retirees could be easily paid, and the jobs they are retiring from could be used for recent graduates. All in all, it is clear that unemployment among highly qualified graduates has become a big problem, but there are many solutions for the governments to take into account so this issue can be eradicated.
It is
clear
that society has
changed
over the last decades,
but
some
problems might
still
remain present, like unemployment. Unfortunately, it is
very
common for
people
who have advanced degrees to
be unemployed
.

New paths have
been opened
and
people
who would not
think
that they could study
now
they are able to do
so
.
For instance
, it is
very
common in Spain to finish high school and to study a higher degree, that would lead you to have a better
job
and position in society.
Even though
the number of
highly
graduates has increased
significantly
,
job
positions have not increased that much, which leads to unemployment.
That is
why the easiest solution would be to create new
job
positions
so
all these unemployed
people
can work as what they studied to be.

Additionally
, life expectancy has risen
noticeably
, which means that there is a bigger percentage of older
people
. Those
people
might retire and
live
,
easily
, for another 20 or 25 years. Every one of those years they
are retired
, they
get
paid by the
government
. The problem is, anyway, with the rise of life expectancy it is not worth it to
government
to spend that much money on them.
Therefore
, they have been increasing the age required for retirement;
hence
older
people
who would have retired years ago are
still
working, not allowing younger
people
have a stable
job
. I believe that if we paid a
little
more in taxes, pensions for retirees could be
easily
paid, and the
jobs
they are retiring from could be
used
for recent graduates.

All in all, it is
clear
that unemployment among
highly
qualified graduates has become a
big
problem,
but
there are
many
solutions for the
governments
to take into account
so
this issue can
be eradicated
.
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IELTS essay Unemployment among highly graduates

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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