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undeveloped transportation and the lack of high-qualified

In previous centuries, people who lived in these times faced too many hardships owing to the undeveloped transportation and the lack of high-qualified technology of communication. Thanks to the innovators and experts of these areas, today, most people have an enormous opportunity to access all these improvements successfully. Nowadays, a growing number of people prefer to live and work wherever they want to live. Developments of transportation and communication technology have several pros and cons which can be counted as broadening people’s horizons and vital adaptation issues. Firstly, living or working in a foreign country can cause critical problems for people who came from a different country. Therefore, people must have been upset or dissatisfied in this complex situation. According to a famous professor of sociology, forty percent of people who choose to live in another country, unfortunately, come back to their own countries due to obvious cultural differences with them among native people. As a consequence, despite the fact that these developments seem so beneficial for living abroad, people sadly try to overcome significant problems there. Secondly, because of developing communication technology and transportation, people who prefer to maintain their lives abroad can develop themselves in a positive way. Thus, they can learn a variety of aspects of life. A perfect example is that with this experience, people gain the necessary skills and habits such as being outgoing and challenging. To sum up, people have a great chance to broaden their horizons perfectly with this. Finally, improvements in the technology of interaction and transportation have both several advantages and disadvantages. People who can easily take advantage of these effective innovations gain various life experiences in this way.
In previous centuries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in these times faced too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hardships owing to the undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and the lack of high-qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of communication. Thanks to the innovators and experts of these areas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an enormous opportunity to access all these improvements
successfully
. Nowadays, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and work wherever they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. Developments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have several pros and cons which can
be counted
as broadening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
horizons and vital adaptation issues.

Firstly
, living or working in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can cause critical problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
been upset
or dissatisfied in this complex situation. According to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
professor of sociology, forty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, unfortunately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to obvious cultural differences with them among native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As a consequence, despite the fact that these developments seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beneficial for living abroad,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sadly
try to overcome significant problems there.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of developing communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
abroad can develop themselves in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
Thus
, they can learn a variety of aspects of life. A perfect example is that with this experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and habits such as being outgoing and challenging. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great chance to broaden their horizons
perfectly
with this.

Finally
, improvements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of interaction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
have both several advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
easily
take advantage of these effective innovations gain various life experiences in this way.
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IELTS essay undeveloped transportation and the lack of high-qualified

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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