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"Nanna where are you? Nanna--" she screamed at the top of her lungs, voice full of excitement as Triana ran all over in the house looking for her grandmother and found the beloved old lady in the kitchen. "Look what I got" she said as Triana passed the form from her little hands to those old ones. "This is--? " Rania, her old grandmother, adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose so that she could read the form. "A school trip Nanna. The school is taking us for camping this year. Can I go Nanna? Just this once, please Nanna. We aren't even going out of the town. Please" she begged with puppy eyes. Rania had always been over protective of her. She won't let Triana dissappear from her sight. After losing her own children, maybe she didn't want to loose Triana too. She looked worried. "Please Nanna" the little girl tried again. The old lady came down to her level and smiled. "Okay sweetie you can go but promise me something" "Yes yes yes I promise. I promise to be a good girl. You won't get any complaints" "Just promise me that you won't let yourself get hurt and return to me safely" "Yes Nanna I promise. I won't leave you Nanna, never! " She cried. Rania wrapped the little girl in her arms tightly but comfortable enough for her the to breathe. "I love you Nanna" She breathed out. "I love you too dear" It was late in the evening when the school buses finally reached the camping site. Their school wasn't the only school there. Only after teachers were done with giving them guidelines to follow, the students got down the bus. Teachers divided them into pairs of two and helped the students in putting up the tents. The tents were set up near the beach. There was a safe gap between the students and the water. Triana was paired up with a girl called Ananya. Tria felt that she was chubby and cute. Just as they got inside the tent Ananya was fast asleep. It was a two weeks camping trip and teachers had told them to rest early as the day was already ending. Suddenly Triana felt an urge to pee. The cold breeze hit her in face as soon as she unzipped the tent and stepped out. The teachers had already told them where to find the ladies room. After finishing her business in the washroom Triana was heading back to the tent when she heard someone cry. It was low and seemed far away, so at first Triana thought she was mistaken. But as she got closer the voice became loud and clear. She reached to the source of voice and saw a little figure curled up into a ball crying and sobbing. 'He looks just like Finn', she thought.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
where are you?
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna-
-
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
she screamed at the top of her lungs, voice full of excitement as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
ran all over in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
looking for her grandmother and found the beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
lady in the kitchen.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Look what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
she said as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
passed the form from her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
hands to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This is--?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rania
, her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
grandmother, adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that she could read the form.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
trip
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is taking us for camping this year. Can I go
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
this once,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
. We aren't even going out of the town.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
she begged with puppy eyes.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rania
had always been over protective of her. She won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissappear
from her sight. After losing her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children, maybe she didn't want to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
too. She looked worried.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
tried again. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
lady came down to her level and smiled.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Okay sweetie you can go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
me something
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Yes yes yes I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
. You won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any complaints
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
me that you won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
yourself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt and return to me
safely
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Yes
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
. I won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
you
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
,
The adverb 'never' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
never
!
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
She cried.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rania
wrapped the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
in her arms
tightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for her the to breathe.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
you
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanna
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
She breathed out.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
you too dear
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


It was late in the evening when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
buses
finally
reached the camping site. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
wasn't the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
there.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were done
with giving them guidelines to follow, the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
down the bus.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
divided them into pairs of two and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the students in putting up the tents.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tents
were set
up near the beach. There was a safe gap between the students and the water.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
was paired
up with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ananya
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tria
felt that she was chubby and cute.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tent
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ananya
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
asleep. It was a two weeks camping trip and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them to rest early as the day was already ending.

Suddenly
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
felt an urge to pee. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
breeze hit her in face as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as she unzipped the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tent
and stepped out. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
had already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them where to find the ladies room. After finishing her business in the washroom
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
was heading back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tent
when she heard someone cry.

It was low and seemed far away,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triana
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
she
was mistaken
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
closer the voice became loud and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. She reached to the source of voice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
figure curled up into a ball crying and sobbing. 'He looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like Finn', she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
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IELTS essay Type or paste the title of your writing

Essay
  American English
15 paragraphs
479 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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