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Twenty years from now people will have more leisure time than they do now

Twenty years from now people will have more leisure time than they do now XG7dE
When it comes to whether people in twenty years will have more leisure time than they do now, opinions vary from person to person. However, taking the advanced technology into consideration, my answer is definitely yes. My arguments for this point are listed as follows. First of all, there is no denying the fact that a new upsurge in robotics is in the making. As artificial intelligences wide application, robotics has lastly development as a branch of it. That means our people's lives will be changed in the corner. Let us review the history. In the mid 1800s, the industrial revolution modified the whole structure of English society and swept the globe in no time. We all know that in the past human resources, power of wind and running water were main sources people could get, but none of these were abundant and could continuously power the engine. However, the advent of steam power changed such dilemma. It could be used in factory to print press and to braid cotton so that people saved much time and energy in producing. Also, it was used in construction of the railway making the transportation much convenient. Therefore, the society was developing in unprecedented rate since industrial revolution. What I want to say is that history also set light to the future. Robots today just like the steam power in the past. As you see, today robots appeared widely on various occasions. It serves as housekeeper, cooking delicious meal and cleaning the house. It serves as the fireman, rushing into the fire and saving the victims. Also, it serves as janitor, guarding the doors and delivering the mails. Robots not only improve efficiency but also reduce manpower. Thus, I bet that people in the future will have much more leisure time because of the development of robotics. In addition, Internet is creating another incredible path for us to obtain the leisure time. It has played an irreplaceable role in our daily life. Internet makes it easy to get the latest information from all over the world. More than that, it changed our traditional way of communication and shopping. According to a survey, more than 80 percent of people today use email to send message instead of talking face to face. They points out the reason that talking face to face wastes time because showing up costs them lots of time especially when they are in remote region. Besides, shopping on lines is also welcomed by consumers due to its time-saving and low cost. Therefore, Internet is gradually changing our life style, bringing more convenience and lead us to more leisure time. To draw a conclusion, as Internet and robots become more and more widespread, efficient and convenient life style is a trend. Undoubtedly, people in the future are able to possess more leisure time.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in twenty years will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, opinions vary from person to person.
However
, taking the advanced technology into consideration, my answer is definitely yes. My arguments for this point
are listed
as follows.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is no denying the fact that a new upsurge in robotics is in the making. As artificial intelligences wide application, robotics has
lastly
development as a branch of it. That means our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the corner.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us review the history. In the mid 1800s, the industrial revolution modified the whole structure of English society and swept the globe in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. We all know that in the past human resources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of wind and running water were main sources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
none of these were abundant and could
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
the engine.
However
, the advent of steam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
such dilemma. It could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in factory to print press and to braid cotton
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
saved much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy in producing.
Also
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in construction of the railway making the transportation much convenient.
Therefore
, the society was developing in unprecedented rate since industrial revolution. What I want to say is that history
also
set light to the future. Robots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the steam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in the past. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
robots appeared
widely
on various occasions. It serves as housekeeper, cooking delicious meal and cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. It serves as the fireman, rushing into the fire and saving the victims.
Also
, it serves as janitor, guarding the doors and delivering the mails. Robots not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
efficiency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
manpower.
Thus
, I bet that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future will have much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of robotics.

In addition
, Internet is creating another incredible path for us to obtain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It has played an irreplaceable role in our daily life. Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest information from all over the world. More than that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our traditional way of communication and shopping. According to a survey, more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
email to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
message
instead
of talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. They
The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "point"
points
out the reason that talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
showing up costs them lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
especially
when they are in remote region.
Besides
, shopping on lines is
also
welcomed by consumers due to its time-saving and low cost.
Therefore
, Internet is
gradually
changing our life style, bringing more convenience and lead us to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
time.

To draw a conclusion, as Internet and robots become more and more widespread, efficient and convenient life style is a trend.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future are able to possess more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Twenty years from now people will have more leisure time than they do now

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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