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TV shows about talent are gaining popularity in many countries today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, are they just entertainment?

TV shows about talent are gaining popularity in many countries today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, are they just entertainment? RRoJo
TV shows about talent are gaining popularity in many countries today. In my point of view, most of these shows are just entertainment, not a good method of finding gifted people. The first paragraph is the reason for my opinion, the second is an exception. First, the aim of these shows is profit, not improving someone’s abilities. They use the same formula for making a televised talent show, they invite some celebrities to be the mentors, wait for people to come and let them compete with each other. We can mention some of them, like the X factor, BGT, . . . If the show becomes the golden-egg laying hen, they will continue with it. If not, the show will be canceled. With the mentors, they just give some sketchy advices, choose the good ones after each round and then we have the winner. No matter what these mentors do, everyone knows that it does not really make an impact on the talent development of participants. Then, after the show, will the outstanding talents be professionally trained to improve their skill? Unfortunately, most of the time, they won’t. To be honest, all the things that the show creators do is just wait for people who have good abilities to come, let them be on TV, gain money and do nothing with their abilities. However, beside these shows mentioned above, there are some shows really looking for people who have good abilities and then let them improve themselves in a better condition, especially Road to Mount Olympia. The show finds good students all over VN every year, then gives them a scholarship in an Australian University, where they are trained professionally, where they can improve their knowledge and skill better than in VN. In conclusion, I think game shows on TV are not a good way of finding talented ones. They are entertainment, just find the ones who are better than usual and do nothing with them to turn them into the talents.
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
are gaining popularity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my point of view, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertainment, not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
method of finding gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
first
paragraph is the reason for my opinion, the second is an exception.

First
, the aim of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
is profit, not improving someone’s abilities. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same formula for making a televised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, they invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
celebrities to be the mentors, wait for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them compete with each other. We can mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them, like the X factor, BGT
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
becomes the golden-egg laying hen, they will continue with it. If not, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
will
be canceled
. With the mentors, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sketchy advices, choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
after each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
round and
then we have the winner. No matter what these mentors do, everyone knows that it does not
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
development of participants.

Then, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, will the outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
be
professionally
trained to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
? Unfortunately, most of the time, they won’t. To be honest, all the things that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
creators do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wait for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them be on TV, gain money and do nothing with their abilities.

However
, beside these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
mentioned above, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
really
looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
abilities and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in a better condition,
especially
Road to Mount Olympia. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
finds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
students all over VN every year, then gives them a scholarship in an Australian University, where they
are trained
professionally
, where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
better than in VN.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV are not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way of finding talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. They are entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who are better than usual and do nothing with them to turn them into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
.
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IELTS essay TV shows about talent are gaining popularity in many countries today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, are they just entertainment?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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