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It is better for college students to live on campus than at home with their parents, To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is better for college students to live on campus than at home with their parents, 0EGbQ
It is true that students can choose their accomodations among college life. From my perpective, I believe that college students choose living in campus have a better idea, while the benefits from living at homes with parents would not be overlooked. On the one hand, the trend that students decide to live in campus, which increase gradually. Firstly, the perks from living in campus are that they can become an indepent life and be out of control from parents. Morover, young adults can meet new roomates in person, be accustomed with directly the college life. Secondly, living in campus bring many positive benefit for college participants. For example, students can reach the universities or college easily and do not worry about far distance. On the other hand, living with parents have their own benefits for students. It can be easily seen that the fanicial burden in parents is likely to mitigate when their offspring do not pay money for rented accommodation in university. This is because the cost of living is much lower when students live with parents. Moreover, parents can totally be in charge of their offsping’s study schedule or process. The reason for the idea that living with parents is much better, it has discipline in home, studewnts have to obligate the rules at home. Vietnam is good instance for this situation, more than half of students of Vietnam decide to live with parents because they are not under pressure of livelihood, are likely to receive the support from parents at any time. Young people do not have to suffer the difficulties more than those living apart from families. To conclude, there are several reasons for students to live on campus or live with families. I firmly believe that campus can bring many positive effects and toal new experience for college participants, while students want to alleviate the expenses for accommodation choosing to live with parents for own purposes.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose their
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodations
among college life. From my
Possible spelling mistake found.
perpective
, I believe that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
have a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, while the benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at homes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would not
be overlooked
.

On the one hand, the trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
, which increase
gradually
.
Firstly
, the perks from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
are that they can become an
Possible spelling mistake found.
indepent
life and be out of control from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
, young adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
roomates
in person, be
The usual collocation for "accustomed" is "to" not "with". Did you mean "accustomed to"?
accustomed with
directly
the college life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefit for college participants.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can reach the universities or college
easily
and do not worry about far distance.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fanicial
burden in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is likely to mitigate when their offspring do not pay money for rented accommodation in university. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is much lower when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
totally
be in charge of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
offsping
’s study schedule or process. The reason for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is much better, it has discipline in home,
Possible spelling mistake found.
studewnts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obligate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
at home. Vietnam is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
instance for this situation, more than half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of Vietnam decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not under pressure of livelihood, are likely to receive the support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at any time. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer the difficulties more than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
apart from families.

To conclude
, there are several reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with families. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and
Possible spelling mistake found.
toal
new experience for college participants, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to alleviate the expenses for accommodation choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes.

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live on campus than at home with their parents,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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