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Children nowadays become too dependence on technology products like television, smart phone and more , it make them reduce their activities levels accordingly.It may cause a serious problems in children’s psychology and health.

Children nowadays become too dependence on technology products like television, smart phone and more, it make them reduce their activities levels accordingly. It may cause a serious problems in children’s psychology and health. VwLqm
Children nowadays become too dependence on technology products like television, smart phone and more, it make them reduce their activities levels accordingly. It may cause a serious problems in children’s psychology and health. Many parents think that letting their children use technology when they were young, is the best way for children to open their knowledge but if children use technology soon, they will take negative affect by social media. It is the reason why children nowadays stay at home more than in the past and it makes children dependent on their parents. Parents also have to take responsibility for their children laziness. However, parents always think that everything they do for their children is the best. Because of the laziness, some children have health problems like eye problem, and more. If we want to encourage higher level of activities, we must change parent’s thinking. Because parent’s thinking is an immediate cause to children. Instead of staying at home, parents can go out with their children to join social activities like volunteer, so on and it will make children and parents closer. Not only studying but children also have oudoor activities like football, swimming, batminton and more to make friends with another people, do exercise and reduce stress, health problems so that it will make they see the world in the positive sight.
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Children
nowadays become too dependence on technology products like television, smart phone and more, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
levels
accordingly
. It may cause a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
psychology and health.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that letting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology when they were young, is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to open their knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, they will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
by social media. It is the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays stay at home more than in the past and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
dependent on their
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parents
.
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Parents
also
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have to
take responsibility for their
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children
laziness.
However
,
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parents
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everything they do for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the best.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the laziness,
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some
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children
have health
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problems
like eye
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problem
, and more.

If we want to encourage higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
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parent’s
thinking.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
thinking is an immediate cause to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
of staying at home,
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parents
can go out with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like volunteer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
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parents
closer. Not
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only
studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
have
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oudoor
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activities
like football, swimming,
Possible spelling mistake found.
batminton
and more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends with another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, do exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sight.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays become too dependence on technology products like television, smart phone and more, it make them reduce their activities levels accordingly. It may cause a serious problems in children’s psychology and health.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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