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TToday more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctica. What are benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

TToday more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctica. What are benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? 3axwN
Today, a large number of people are heading to places where conditions are pretty hostile such as Sahara Desert or Antarctica. It is obvious that there are both positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon. To begin with, it is quite an adventure for tourists visiting places with extreme conditions and it is definitely an advantage of it. Furthermore, it is a great opportunity to see unique places, animals and even nature phenomenons and also make incredible photos of it. For instance, in Antarctica in september people can observe the marvelous phenomenon as polar lights. There is an incredible wildlife full of rare species such as albatross and emperor penguin. Another beautiful example is Sahara Desert where can be done beautiful pictures of sand-dunes can be found. However, there are several disadvantages both for tourists and for visiting places. First, tourists could be extremely injured or poisoned and could not get access to proper medical treatment since the place with rough conditions. Secondly, animals became anxious due to constant interactions of tourists which is unusual for their habitat. For example, some species of birds abandoned place near Antarctica owing to the fact that there was an increase in human activity. And last but not least, the growing number of travellers causes pollution and waste. In conclusion, even though extreme tourism is a breathtaking adventure, there are a number of negative impacts as on visitors, as on locals and places such as lack of adequate medical treatment, growing danger of cut of population of rare animals due to disturbing tourists.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are heading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where conditions are pretty hostile such as Sahara Desert or Antarctica. It is obvious that there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this phenomenon.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is quite an adventure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme conditions and it is definitely an advantage of it.
Furthermore
, it is a great opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, animals and even nature phenomenons and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
incredible photos of it.
For instance
, in Antarctica in
Possible spelling mistake found.
september
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can observe the marvelous phenomenon as polar lights. There is an incredible wildlife full of rare species such as albatross and emperor penguin. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
example is Sahara Desert where can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
pictures of sand-dunes can
be found
.

However
, there are several disadvantages both for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and for visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could be
extremely
injured or poisoned and could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to proper medical treatment since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with rough conditions.
Secondly
, animals became anxious due to constant interactions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
which is unusual for their habitat.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of birds abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
near Antarctica owing to the fact that there was an increase in human activity. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the growing number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
causes pollution and waste.

In conclusion
,
even though
extreme tourism is a breathtaking adventure, there are a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts as on visitors, as on locals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as lack of adequate medical treatment, growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
of population of rare animals due to disturbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.

IELTS essay TToday more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctica. What are benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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