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In many countries, as people are earning more these days they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 2

In many countries, as people are earning more these days they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 2 151xn
Income sources are gradually increasing instead of past. In many nations, individuals have more income these days and they like to buying latest products more and more. In this essay, I shall discuss why I believe that it is a positive development but there are some drawbacks associated with this trend. On the one hand, They are numerous reasons why pupils take new items in daily life and spending large amount of money because they would like to improve lifestyle and give good impression on the society. Nowadays, number of people spends more time on the works as compared in the past. They have more pay scale and wants a luxury life style. For example, In Italy, economic development are more increased nowadays because local people are more helping in economic growth through buying new products everyday. I think, it is a positive development. On the other side, Every coin has two sides. They also have negative consequences. When numerous people buying new things without any uses then it is waste of money and products also. After use the items, they are throughout in the garbage. I wondering, it is unusual and disrespect of the products. For instance, In Canada, plethora of people buying new phones when every year apple company launch a new phone. Many customers buy latest model even they already have a brand new phone. In conclusion, They have positive and negative aspects when buying new items. Lots of people buying product just for improving lifestyle. Drawbacks are also involved. Garbage of many items when they have no uses after using a things.
Income sources are
gradually
increasing
instead
of past. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, individuals have more income these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more and more. In this essay, I shall discuss why I believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks associated with this trend. On the one hand, They are numerous reasons why pupils take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in daily life and spending large amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
lifestyle and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on the society. Nowadays, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spends more time on the works as compared in the past. They have more pay scale and wants a luxury life style.
For example
, In Italy, economic development are more increased nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more helping in economic growth through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. On the other side, Every coin has two sides. They
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. When numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
then it is waste of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
also
. After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, they are throughout in the garbage.
Did you mean "I'm wondering", "I am wondering", or "I was wondering"?
I wondering
, it is unusual and disrespect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, In Canada, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phones when every year apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
launch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
model even they already have a brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone.
In conclusion
, They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for improving lifestyle. Drawbacks are
also
involved. Garbage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
when they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
after using
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a thing" or simply "things"?
a things
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, as people are earning more these days they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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