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People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past.What do you think is the reason behind this ? and what are the effects on individuals and people around them?

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? and what are the effects on individuals and people around them? Wy5l5
In the past, people used to get more sleep than they do now. This essay will look at the causes of this and then assess the consequences for people who are not getting enough sleep as well as those around them. One of the main causes of a lack of sleep is modern technology. Before smartphones, tablets, and other similar devices, people would usually watch TV or read a book before going to bed. However, now a person might spend hours in bed staring at a bright screen, which makes it difficult to fall asleep. Another major factor is that many people have to wake up early to go to work or school. For example, young people might stay up late using their phones, but then they have to wake up at 6am to go to school. Of course, this means that they will be tired and struggle to study effectively. The effects of a lack of sleep can be extremely harmful. For individuals, it might cause them to feel low in energy and make it difficult to concentrate at work or school. Furthermore, a lack of sleep can also effect people around us. Friends and family might lose their temper faster if they are tired and say or do something without thinking because their mind is exhausted. Moreover, tiredness can lead to someone accidentally killing another person. The thousands of road accidents every year caused by sleepy drivers is a good example of this. Overall, a lack of sleep is mainly caused by new forms of technology and the pressure of modern life. The effects can range from small to huge, so it is very important that people get enough sleep.
In the past,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
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sleep
than they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This essay will look at the causes of this and then assess the consequences for
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people
who are not getting
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enough
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sleep
as well
as those around them.

One of the main causes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
is modern technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
smartphones, tablets, and other similar devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or read a book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to bed.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a person
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might
spend hours in bed staring at a bright screen, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult to fall asleep. Another major factor is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up early to go to work or school.
For example
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
stay up late using their phones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up at 6am to go to school.
Of course
, this means that they will
be tired
and struggle to study
effectively
.

The effects of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
can be
extremely
harmful. For individuals, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause them to feel low in energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult to concentrate at work or school.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
can
also
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us. Friends and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lose their temper faster if they
are tired
and say or do something without thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their mind
is exhausted
.
Moreover
, tiredness can lead to someone
accidentally
killing another person. The thousands of road accidents every year caused by sleepy drivers is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this.

Overall
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
is
mainly
caused by new forms of technology and the pressure of modern life. The effects can range from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to huge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.

IELTS essay People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? and what are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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