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Traveling in our country or foreign countries!

Traveling in our country or foreign countries! LrEpp
Traveling can be considered as the main entertainments of people in all over the world. Nowadays it is commonly accepted that traveling in the own country provide advantages for people. Contrary to this view, there are still those who argue that moving to foreign countries attract people more. However, I to a great extent, agrees with this idea that people can have a trip with higher quality in their own countries than foreign ones. The first aspect to point out is that the trips in the own country of people cost less for them. The people usually use personal car for traveling in their countries which only cost for gasoline. However, they need to pay for the expensive airplanes' tickets for reaching to new country, also, the travel agencies always take advantages from lack of information of the people about other countries and sell them some low quality tours with high prices. This story follow in the goal country, for example shoppers sell their products to the tourists with some strange prices since they are awared about less knowledge of tourists. Taxis, hotels, tickets and any other type of facilities would be provided to the froeign people with higher prices than normal. Another significant point which should be taken into consideration is that the different between cultures may disturb people in a froeign country. People who travel abroad required to learn a new language, but it is the first step of the difficulties which people should be contradict. People should got some knowledge about the foods, social behavior, religon and other cultural aspects of the final country, if they do not have this information, they may get in the seriouse problems. For example, one of my friends travel to the India while he does not know about the importance of cows in their religion. One day he shoted a cow with a stone and local people attacked him extremely. Finally yet importantly, people can find more suitable places for traveling in their countries. If they travel to a froeign country, they can only visit some ordinary places which all tourists visit them. You can find them very easily thorough the internet and it not worth to take a trip. However, people have this option to travel to the unique places in their own country by using helps of local people and maybe their friends. Based on the above-mentioned points, I am convinced that travling in our country benefit us in some worthwhile aspects which we can not feel them clearly. Spending less money, having same culture and visiting uniqe places can be introduced as the main advantages of having trip in our country. We should all try to be familiar with our country before moving to abroad.
Traveling can
be considered
as the main entertainments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all over the world. Nowadays it is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that traveling in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
provide advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Contrary to this view, there are
still
those who argue that moving to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more.
However
, I to a great extent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
with higher quality in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than foreign ones.

The
first
aspect to point out is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cost less for them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal car for traveling in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cost for gasoline.
However
, they need to pay for the expensive airplanes' tickets for reaching to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies always take advantages from lack of information of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and sell them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
low quality tours with high prices. This story follow in the goal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
for example
shoppers sell their products to the tourists with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strange prices since they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
awared
about less knowledge of tourists. Taxis, hotels, tickets and any other type of facilities would
be provided
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
froeign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with higher prices than normal.

Another significant point which should
be taken
into consideration is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between cultures may disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
froeign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad required to learn a new language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the
first
step of the difficulties which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Consider using the past participle "contradicted"?
contradict
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "get"
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge about the foods, social behavior,
Possible spelling mistake found.
religon
and other cultural aspects of the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if they do not have this information, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
seriouse
problems.
For example
, one of my friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to the India while he does not know about the importance of cows in their religion. One day he
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoted
a cow with a stone and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attacked him
extremely
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
yet
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find more suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for traveling in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
froeign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which all tourists visit them. You can find them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
thorough the internet and
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
not worth to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and maybe their friends.

Based on the above-mentioned points, I
am convinced
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travling
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
benefit us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worthwhile aspects which we can not feel them
clearly
. Spending less money, having same culture and visiting
Possible spelling mistake found.
uniqe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
be introduced
as the main advantages of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. We should all try to be familiar with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
moving to abroad.
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IELTS essay Traveling in our country or foreign countries!

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
457 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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