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traffic jams are wasting people's time everyday

traffic jams are wasting people's time everyday RR8AW
In recent years, many people living in large cities are wasting their valuable times everyday because of traffic jam on the roads. This is the topic which never failed to attract people's attention provoke arguments. Some people think that the slow traffic lights had caused the traffic congestion, but I believe that it is because of road accidents. First of all, the reasons for traffic jams are mostly because of carelessness, some people usually and most likely will have a road accident with resulted in crashing cars in the middle of the way which will absolutely cause the traffics to stop. Another reason is that of the population is over growing which leads to over population and the size of the roads, which is small compare for a city. Those factors are the reason why the citizens' time are being wasted each day. To be able to fix this problem, the road must be expanded wider for the traffics to flow, another important factor is people's awareness, in order to subdue the traffic jam, people should drive more carefully and pay respect to the rules. That way, there will be less traffic jam and no fatal injuries. Furthermore, it is highly recommended to take the underground subways to reduce the amount of vehicles. In conclusion, it is more important to improve awareness and follow the rules for traffics so no accidents will happen to disrupt the traffic. It is also important for the roads to be bigger. And take transportation via trains or subways.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in large cities are wasting their valuable times
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. This is the topic which never failed to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention provoke arguments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
lights had caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams are
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of carelessness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
and most likely will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accident with resulted in crashing cars in the middle of the way which will
absolutely
cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. Another reason is that of the population is over growing which leads to over population and the size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
compare for a city. Those factors are the reason why the citizens' time are
being wasted
each day.

To be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this problem, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be expanded
wider for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
to flow, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's awareness, in order to subdue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should drive more
carefully
and pay respect to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. That way, there will be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam and no fatal injuries.
Furthermore
, it is
highly
The verb 'recommended' is used with the gerund form: "recommended taking".
recommended to take
the underground subways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of vehicles.

In conclusion
, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
awareness and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no accidents will happen to disrupt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to be bigger. And take transportation via trains or subways.
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IELTS essay traffic jams are wasting people's time everyday

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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