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Traffic Jams are causing problems in Town and Cities. Building bridges can reduce this problem. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Traffic Jams are causing problems in Town and Cities. Building bridges can reduce this problem. v. 2
Traffic congestion has become a global dilemma these days. In certain towns and cities these problems are inevitable. I partially agree with the statement. Their are certain steps that should also be taken to avoid the traffic jams such as improving public transport or increasing in fuel price or penalizing people on using more than one vehicle by each family. I will explain these steps in my essay below. To embark upon, evading the traffic collusion, improvement in public transportation should be the top most priority. For example introducing the underground services or skyscrapers could help the traffic to stay under control. Many countries have already implemented these ideas. Such as Japan has successfully began these services which help them to control the traffic about 20% in last five years. This is the remarkable control I must say. However, it should not be forgotten that government need to invest unusual amount of capital to implement these technologies. Further, the Government need to take the initiative in sense of increasing in fuel pricing. This step could be basic but very effective in terms of holding people back of using their own vehicles and inclined towards using the public transports. For instance, in the UK, government has imposed many responsibilities to the public for using the vehicles such as CO2 emission charges, mileage expenses, maintenance charges and others. To elucidate, reduction in traffic pollution not only helps people to move from one place to another more freely but also helps reducing CO2 emission and greenhouse gases which affecting not just one environment but the entire globe very badly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
congestion has become a global dilemma these days. In certain towns and cities these problems are inevitable. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.
Did you mean "there"?
Their
are certain steps that should
also
be taken
to avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams such as improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport or increasing in fuel price or penalizing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on using more than one vehicle by each family. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
these steps in my essay below.

To embark upon, evading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
collusion, improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation should be the top most priority.
For example
introducing the underground services or skyscrapers could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
to stay under control.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have already implemented these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Such as Japan has
successfully
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "begun".
began
these services which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
about 20% in last five years. This is the remarkable control I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say.
However
, it should not
be forgotten
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to invest unusual amount of capital to implement these technologies.

Further
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
need to take the initiative in sense of increasing in fuel pricing. This step could be basic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective in terms of holding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
back of using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles and inclined towards using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports.
For instance
, in the UK,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has imposed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
for using the vehicles such as CO2 emission charges, mileage expenses, maintenance charges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

To elucidate, reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
pollution not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another more
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to reduce" or "reduce".
reducing
CO2 emission and greenhouse gases which affecting not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the entire globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic Jams are causing problems in Town and Cities. Building bridges can reduce this problem. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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