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Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Discuss the problems and Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities. v.3

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Discuss the problems and Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities. v. 3
It is a common phenomenon that more astronomer is searching for other planets in the universe where life exists. Some people believe that governments should invest money on seeking the life in other planets, but others insist that solving domestic issues and improving basic facilities are the priority tasks. I agree with the view that public funds should be used to improve people’s life quality. Seeking for more resources is the most important reason that governments should support space research. As we all know, some kind of resources will exhaust in the future, such as water and mineral. People have to discover more available resources from other planets for coming generations. Moreover, population on earth is increasing dramatically every year. Scientists are uncertain if the earth could take such a huge amount of population. Finding a new living sanctuary is necessary for human beings. Space discovery is really helpful for collecting information and evaluate for that program. However, some politicians argued that public funding should be used to solve the practical issues, such as poverty and illness. Considering the limited state budget, not all countries have the enough funds to support space research, governments have to focus on addressing domestic problems. For example, famine has hit many countries in Africa for years, and millions of people living in dire straits. Comparing with the visionary space discovery, governments have to spend a large amount of money to rescue people from property and famine first. In addition, illness is another serious issue in many developing countries like cancer. Under the circumstances of government financial emergency, a relatively completed and developed medical system should get more financial support from the government instead of space discovery. In my opinion, governments should pay more attention to address urgent issues rather than space exploration.
It is a common phenomenon that more astronomer is searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets in the universe where life exists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should invest money on seeking the life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others insist that solving domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and improving basic facilities are the priority tasks. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that public funds should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life quality.

Seeking for more resources is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research. As we all know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of resources will exhaust in the future, such as water and mineral.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discover more available resources from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets for coming generations.
Moreover
, population on earth is increasing
dramatically
every year. Scientists are uncertain if the earth could take such a huge amount of population. Finding a new living sanctuary is necessary for human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
discovery is
really
helpful for collecting information and evaluate for that program.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians argued that public funding should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, such as poverty and illness. Considering the limited state budget, not all countries have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on addressing domestic problems.
For example
, famine has hit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in Africa for years, and millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in dire straits. Comparing with the visionary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
discovery,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a large amount of money to rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from property and famine
first
.
In addition
, illness is another serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like cancer. Under the circumstances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financial emergency, a
relatively
completed and developed medical system should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more financial support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
discovery.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should pay more attention to address urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Discuss the problems and Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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