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Traditional music is better or not? If it is better, why is it so?

Traditional music is better or not? If it is better, why is it so? QRjm1
The importance of music has always been an area of contention around the world. It is clear that each country has its own unique music style. Typically, this music genre is classified as either traditional or modern music. From my point of view, traditional music is better than modern music. So that, this essay will argues that why traditional music is superiority than modern music with two reasons. Firstly, traditional music is the best way to comprehend a country’s culture as well as its trace of civilization. This kind of music style reflects a folk’s religion and customs. A good illustration of this is Turkish local music. The Turkish folk music has combined with distinct cultural values of all Anatolian and Ottoman territories in Europe. Both of these civilizations had preceded to Islam religion and Islam customs, such as wedding and funeral. As a consequence of this, Turkish folk music integrate these tradition its own composition by using various instrumental tune. Secondly, traditional music does not concern about commercial product or appreciativeness. While folk music does not refer as to contemporary relationship problems including love, by contrast, modern music mentions that. Notwithstanding modern music is often marketed through different ways. For example, pop music artists shoot a video to their composition and wait to rise the highest rank of music channel. These videos aim to appreciate by their audiences. Consequently, modern music artists usually exclude their listeners’ issues if they mirror daily life. To sum up, traditional music is better than modern music, because it comprises a folk’s cultural identity and do not expect any financial revenue. I believe that traditional music should be given more importance than modern music so that we can enjoy music not only for entertainment’s sake but also to learn who we really are.
The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has always been an area of contention around the world. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that each country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
style.
Typically
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre
is classified
as either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "argue"
argues
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is superiority than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with two reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the best way to comprehend a country’s culture
as well
as its trace of civilization. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
style reflects a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk’s
religion and customs. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is Turkish local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The Turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has combined with distinct cultural values of all Anatolian and Ottoman territories in Europe. Both of these civilizations had preceded to Islam religion and Islam customs, such as wedding and funeral. As a consequence of this, Turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
integrate
Did you mean "this tradition" or "these traditions"?
these tradition
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
composition by using various instrumental tune.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not concern about commercial product or
Possible spelling mistake found.
appreciativeness
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not refer as to contemporary relationship problems including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, by contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
mentions that. Notwithstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
marketed through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
For example
, pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artists shoot a video to their composition and wait to rise the highest rank of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
channel. These videos aim to appreciate by their audiences.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artists
usually
exclude their listeners’ issues if they mirror daily life.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it comprises a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk’s
cultural identity and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
any financial revenue. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment’s sake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to learn who we
really
are.
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IELTS essay Traditional music is better or not? If it is better, why is it so?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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