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Using electronic devices is a common aspect of everyday's life and as a result many children are addicted to them. What are the negative consequences of young children abusing electronic gadgets and suggest measures to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Using electronic devices is a common aspect of everyday's life and as a result many children are addicted to them. What are the negative consequences of young children abusing electronic gadgets and suggest measures to minimize the bad effects? VwLO3
It is undeniable that the use of electronic is a popular issue of ordinary life, which leads to the addiction of children to them. This phenomenon may cause by some reasons below and several solutions should be adopted to address this problem. The main reason of those who are children addicted to electronic devices is that they are not controlled about the mental health, which is produced by their parents. The adults are always hectic with their work, they likely not have time to their children, and just spoil them by give them the smartphone, consist of some advert information lead to bad effect about physical and mental health namely obesity, depression, eyesight and so on. The second one is that electronic devices prevent children contacting to the social, they just learn only through electronic devices, contain all kind of entertainment resources, as a result more and more children addicted to it, their behaviors and feeling likely to be more vulnerable, a harmful effect on general health. Their is a convey illustrate that more than 75% of American children addicted to smartphone during the lockdown, and it need some change. In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can be taken to reduce that addiction of children. Firstly, Parents should aware the significant of children awareness about the social life outside and virtual society, spend more time to them, from that, children will receive the love positively and tend to more kind, passionate about the outdoor activities. Government should organize more club and festival for children to knitting the social life. In conclusion, the children’s’ addiction to electronic devices is pretty common, many solutions should be performed to reduce it positively.
It is undeniable that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
is a popular issue of ordinary life, which leads to the addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to them. This phenomenon may cause by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons below and several solutions should
be adopted
to address this problem.

The main reason of those who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is that they are not controlled about the mental health, which
is produced
by their parents. The adults are always hectic with their work, they likely not have time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spoil them by give them the smartphone, consist of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advert information lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect about physical and mental health
namely
obesity, depression, eyesight and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
contacting to the social, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, contain all kind of entertainment resources,
as a result
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted to it, their behaviors and feeling likely to be more vulnerable, a harmful effect on general health.
Did you mean "there"?
Their
is
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'convey' is correct. If 'convey' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a convey
illustrate that more than 75% of American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
addicted to smartphone during the lockdown, and it
Did you mean "needs"?
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
that addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, Parents
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
The phrase 'the significant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the significant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
awareness about the social life outside and virtual society, spend more time to them, from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
positively
and tend to more kind, passionate about the outdoor activities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should organize more club and festival for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to knitting the social life.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s’
addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is pretty common,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions should
be performed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it
positively
.
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IELTS essay Using electronic devices is a common aspect of everyday's life and as a result many children are addicted to them. What are the negative consequences of young children abusing electronic gadgets and suggest measures to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Using electronic devices is a common aspect of everyday's life and as a result many children are addicted to them. What are the negative consequences of young children abusing electronic gadgets and suggest measures to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.