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Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. with this viewpoint? m1XVd
The practice of traditional medicine dates back so many centuries ago, although still practiced in some countries today. This was before the advent of modern medicine. I disagree that traditional medicine is better than the medicine of today in improving health. Analyzing both the effectiveness and breakthroughs achieved by modern medicine in this essay will show this. Firstly, the efficacy of traditional medicine has no scientific basis. For example, ones like acupuncture, medicine via herbs, ayurveda are effective, but have no scientific background. Information about their methods are only passed down several generations. This is unlike contemporary medicine which undergoes several years of research trials before being approved for the use in man noting the level of safety. Secondly, native medicines have not shown any breakthroughs in recent years. For instance, modern medicine has led to the advent of vaccines, just recently, the COVID vaccine after several clinical trials. Such cannot be derived from herbal medicine. From these, it becomes quite evident that that making the lives of humans better and healthier is the core of today's medicine. To sum up, the efficacy and clinical miracles gotten from modern medicine cannot be gotten from other forms of medicine. I recommend that both forms of medicine be harnessed to obtain better health indices.
The practice of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
dates back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries ago, although
still
practiced in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. I disagree that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in improving health. Analyzing both the effectiveness and breakthroughs achieved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
in this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this.

Firstly
, the efficacy of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has no scientific basis.
For example
,
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
like acupuncture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
via herbs,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ayurveda
are effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have no scientific background. Information about their methods are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
passed down several generations. This is unlike contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
which undergoes several years of research trials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being approved
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
noting the level of safety.

Secondly
, native medicines have not shown any breakthroughs in recent years.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has led to the advent of vaccines,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
recently, the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
vaccine after several clinical trials. Such cannot
be derived
from herbal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. From these, it becomes quite evident that that making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of humans better and healthier is the core of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's medicine.

To sum up, the efficacy and clinical miracles gotten from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
cannot
be gotten
from other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. I recommend that both forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
be harnessed
to obtain better health indices.
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IELTS essay Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. with this viewpoint?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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