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Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their futures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their futures. k63bR
Nowadays, traditional values are hiding in modern world. As it is common brief that the way of living and behave can learn from grey hair is worthless for young generation. I agree with given notion that it is still play an imparetive role in youngest life At the very outset. There are various factors that why culture heetiage have great value in young individuals life. The prime one factor is, although, older people have lot of experience which they earn in their life that they hold from thick and thin situation. These experiences assist the youngones in ther every mode of their life. For example, at workplace, school, college and in university. But due to advancement in technology, young people are more indulge in searching on internet, they never take the advice of their olderones. As a result, they do lot of mistakes in their life Moving further another excellent reason for this is, learning for old people is great idea they teach the plenty of lesson to young generation about different aspects and also tell motivational Stories to youngones which aid them to enhance their confidence level in front of people and on workplace. Moral values and ethics always been a privious gifts for youngsters today life. To cite an example, a survey was conducted by the government of the UK in the 2010 which found that 80 percent youngone prefer to take the advice of their elders Hence, it is proved that traditional values are predominant part that merely teach by grandparents to their children To sum up I would like to establish that although, it is true that the value of culture heritage is declining in young generation eyes but it still play an essential role in youngsters life
Nowadays, traditional values are hiding in modern world. As it is common brief that the way of living and behave can learn from
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
hair is worthless for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion that it is
still
Consider using a past participle here: "played".
play
an
Possible spelling mistake found.
imparetive
role in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


At the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
outset. There are various factors that why culture
Possible spelling mistake found.
heetiage
have great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The prime one factor is, although, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
experience which they earn in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that they hold from thick and thin situation. These experiences assist the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther every
mode of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, at workplace, school, college and in university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to advancement in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more indulge in searching on internet, they never take the advice of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
olderones
.
As a result
, they do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
mistakes in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Moving
further
another excellent reason for this is, learning for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
they teach the
Possible agreement error. The noun lesson seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of lessons".
plenty of lesson
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
motivational Stories to
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
which aid them to enhance their confidence level in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and on workplace. Moral values and ethics
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'been'.
always been
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
privious
gifts for youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To cite an example, a survey
was conducted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the UK in the 2010 which found that 80 percent
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngone
prefer to take the advice of their elders
Hence
, it
is proved
that traditional values are predominant part that
merely
teach by grandparents to their children To sum up I would like to establish that although, it is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of culture heritage is declining in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
still
Did you mean "plays"?
play
an essential role in youngsters
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their futures.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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