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Tpo6. Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when grandparents were children. Agree or disagree. v.1

Tpo6. Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when grandparents were children. Agree or disagree. v. 1
Considering the proposed question, I should mention that controversy exists over whether nowadays, life becomes more convenient in comparison with time when our grandparents were children or not. In my view, life is more satisfactory in many aspects than the time of our grandparents’ childhood for two reasons. First aspect to point out is that advancement in technology improve our lives. By passing times, our brilliant scientists are carrying out many researches to accomplish the perfect achievement in various fields such as medical science, education, and communication. In the past, people died from fatal diseases such as different kinds of cancers due to lack of facilities in health care services such as inaccessibility to diagnostic medical techniques, which today, assist doctors to diagnosis these terminal diseases, prevented sick people to recover. Technology also in another area such as education has benefited many people. Today, children are not required to hire private instructors to keep up with other classmates. There are a lot of educational video on many websites can be downloaded with paying nothing. This means students can bring tutors to their houses free. Let me take another example of practical usage of technology in communication. Many years ago if people who lived other countries wanted to visit their relatives, they had to take a long journey to arrive and the cost of transportation means were not affordable. Today people from various economic level are able without paying money to communicate with their friends abroad just through having access to the high speed Internet. As you can see, today’s living conditions are not comparable to those in our grandparents’ childhood. Along with technology, people’s life style have changed positively. People replaced many old customs with acceptable traditions. For instance, in the past, newly-married couples had to live with the groom’s family members. The worst part was that the bird was responsible for doing all household chores such as cooking food, cleaning house, and washing dishes by herself. Because of huge responsibilities, many conflicts could arise between bride and groom. On the other hand, now, young couple have their own ways. They have more independence. Their parents have no expectation from them, so they feel relieved from all stress and the huge burden. Moreover, parents can go to work for their tasks. Having connection to the Internet enables them to stay and do their jobs at home. So not only do not they have to commute to their works, but they also have more time to spend with their children. Thanks to the technology again which provides people with modern style and convenient life. In sum, both enhancements in technology and people’s life style offer them peaceful life without being involved in many difficulties to deal with which were common in the past. I hope that all people appreciate whatever they have had just by comparison.
Considering the proposed question, I should mention that controversy exists over whether nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
becomes more convenient
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when our grandparents were children or not. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more satisfactory in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of our grandparents’ childhood for two reasons.

First
aspect to point out is that advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. By passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, our brilliant scientists are carrying out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches to accomplish the perfect achievement in various fields such as medical science, education, and communication. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from fatal diseases such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of cancers due to lack of facilities in health care services such as inaccessibility to diagnostic medical techniques, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
, assist doctors to diagnosis these terminal diseases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recover.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
also
in another area such as education has benefited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
, children are not required to hire private instructors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with other classmates. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
educational video on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites can
be downloaded
with paying nothing. This means students can bring tutors to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
free.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me take another example of practical usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
years ago if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
other countries wanted to visit their relatives, they had to take a long journey to arrive and the cost of transportation means were not affordable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various economic level are able without paying money to communicate with their friends abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
through having access to the high speed Internet. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today’s
living conditions are not comparable to those in our grandparents’ childhood.

Along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
positively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
replaced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs with acceptable traditions.
For instance
, in the past,
newly
-married couples had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the groom’s family members. The worst part was that the bird was responsible for doing all household chores such as cooking food, cleaning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and washing dishes by herself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of huge responsibilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflicts could arise between bride and groom.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, young couple have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways. They have more independence. Their parents have no expectation from them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel relieved from all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and the huge burden.
Moreover
, parents can go to work for their tasks. Having connection to the Internet enables them to stay and do their jobs at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do not they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
commute to their works,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their children. Thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
again which provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with modern style and convenient life.

In sum, both enhancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style offer them peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
being involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties to deal with which were common in the past. I hope that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate whatever they have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by comparison.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Tpo6. Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when grandparents were children. Agree or disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
475 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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