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TPO 47 - Question 4 People all ages generally prefer to have as much freedom as possible in determining their behavior. When individuals feel that their actions are being unfairly limited, they often attempt to restore freedom by directly contradicting or v.1

TPO 47 - Question 4 People all ages generally prefer to have as much freedom as possible in determining their behavior. When individuals feel that their actions are being unfairly limited, they often attempt to restore freedom by directly contradicting or v. 1
It is undoubtedly that the accelerating rate of traffic jam and contamination has ushered in some pressing concern for society as a whole. While I agree that raising tariffs on the price of fuel can be a possible method of discouraging drivers, I would argue that other effective and measures should be implemented simultaneously. On the one hand, increasing tax on petrol has its own distinctive merits in slashing pollutant and traffic incidence. The first reason is that oil pricing through taxation leaves consumers to determine how best to reduce their cost. As an illustration, people will choose public transportation such as buses or trains to commute instead of using their vehicles and thereby, the traffic congestion will be improved. In addition, applying tariff on the price of fuel will decline the demand of oil, which would help to preserve the environment. Because most of vehicles run on fossil fuel that discharges pollutants into the atmosphere, so if the government does not take steps to restrict the use of oil, it would increase the greenhouse effect and lead to environmental contamination. On the other hand, as it may seem, putting more tariff on oil solely cannot effectively curb the alarming contaminant and traffic jam. Consequently, other measures should also be taken into consideration. One resolution is to offer programs to raise the public awareness of low-carbon. For instance, the government should encourage citizens to exploit renewable energies such as wind, hydro and solar power in order to enhance air condition. Additionally, the state should give top priority to invest in developing fuel-effective car and infrastructure of public transit. As a result, thanks to the development of environment-friendly products, oil as well as individual vehicles will be reduced, contributing to the environmental protection. In conclusion, although I concur with the positive of raising taxes on the price of petrol for the reduction of pollution and congestion, I would believe that other plausible and productive approaches should be employed as well.
It is
undoubtedly
that the accelerating rate of
traffic
jam and contamination has ushered in
some
pressing concern for society as a whole. While I
agree
that raising tariffs on the price of fuel can be a possible method of discouraging drivers, I would argue that
other
effective and measures should
be implemented
simultaneously
.

On the one hand, increasing tax on petrol has its
own
distinctive merits in slashing pollutant and
traffic
incidence. The
first
reason is that
oil
pricing through taxation
leaves
consumers to determine how best to
reduce
their cost. As an illustration,
people
will choose public transportation such as buses or trains
to commute
instead
of using their vehicles and thereby, the
traffic
congestion will be
improved
.
In addition
, applying tariff on the price of fuel will decline the demand of
oil
, which would
help
to preserve the environment.
Because
most of vehicles
run on fossil fuel that discharges pollutants into the atmosphere,
so
if the
government
does not take steps to restrict the
use
of
oil
, it would increase the greenhouse effect and lead to environmental contamination.

On the
other
hand, as it may seem, putting more tariff on
oil
solely
cannot
effectively
curb the alarming contaminant and
traffic
jam.
Consequently
,
other
measures should
also
be taken
into consideration. One resolution is to offer programs to raise the public awareness of low-carbon.
For instance
, the
government
should encourage citizens to exploit renewable energies such as wind, hydro and solar power in order to enhance air condition.
Additionally
, the state should give top priority to invest in developing fuel-effective car and infrastructure of public transit.
As a result
, thanks to the development of environment-friendly products,
oil
as well
as individual vehicles will be
reduced
, contributing to the environmental protection.

In conclusion
, although I concur with the
positive
of raising taxes on the price of petrol for the reduction of pollution and congestion, I would believe that
other
plausible and productive approaches should
be employed
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 47 - Question 4 People all ages generally prefer to have as much freedom as possible in determining their behavior. When individuals feel that their actions are being unfairly limited, they often attempt to restore freedom by directly contradicting or v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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