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TPO-41 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is true that science and technology, nowadays, have benefited the whole world in all aspects. Although information and computers have a greater impact on our lives, the role of artists is unforgettable, and they contribute a lot in our life. There are many things that artists can tell us about life that skill and technology failed to. In other words, communication between people in every nation which is the language that they speak with each other. In fact, is a branch of art, this gives persons sense of humanity, and this perhaps the only difference between human beings and animal. Furthermore, creative people can boost us emotionally and change our feelings. For example, lots of Beethovens fan listens to his music pieces because they feel relieved and motivated, so music control our emotions and translates our feelings Another field in which we learn from art is related to culture and history. Many states show their history through a piece of painting or the way that people dance and wear, for the majority of people this is the sort of entertainment too, there are people who travel around the globe to visit historical places and art galleries. By contrast, this is not the case when branch and automation are considered as they all about practice and physical aspects and do not contribute to our lives emotionally and socially. To conclude, there is no denying the fact that wisdom and applied lore have great value in our life. Even though artists can teach people about many aspects of their way that the former cannot.
It is true that science and technology, nowadays, have benefited the whole world in all aspects. Although information and computers have a greater impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the role of artists is unforgettable, and they contribute a lot in our life.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that artists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about life that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and technology failed to.
In other words
, communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every nation which is the language that they speak with each other. In fact, is a branch of art, this gives persons sense of humanity, and this perhaps the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difference between human beings and animal.
Furthermore
, creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can boost us
emotionally
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our feelings.
For example
, lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beethovens
fan listens to his music pieces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel relieved and motivated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
music control our emotions and translates our feelings

Another field in which we learn from art
is related
to culture and history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their history through a piece of painting or the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dance and wear, for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this is the sort of entertainment too, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel around the globe to visit historical places and art galleries. By contrast, this is not the case when branch and automation
are considered
as they all about practice and physical aspects and do not contribute to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
emotionally
and
socially
.

To conclude
, there is no denying the fact that wisdom and applied lore have great value in our life.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
artists can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their way that the former cannot.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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