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tpo 36 speaking section question 3The man expresses his opinion of the proposal the student makes in the letter. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

tpo 36 speaking section question 3The man expresses his opinion of the proposal the student makes in the letter. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Since our life had been better, modern activity forced both parents to work abundantly and result fully, they spend less hours with their kids. Many opinions argue that this issue can cause a negative effect on children. This essay will explain the main reasons for this problem and also will discuss the problems that will be caused due to this fact. The top reason which makes parents to stay at home in a short time with their kids is the pressure to afford high living expenses. Nowadays, everything has become more and more expensive, and this requires both parents try to earn money as much as they can to solve their need in life. Another reason for this issue is that the parents thought of their kids' life. I consider that parent, who live in this time, always aspires to create a perfect living condition for their offspring, but time and parental care they spend with their kids is becoming shallower day by day. The situation of both parents working for a longer time can damage the relationship between members in the family. Spending a small amount of moment with kids can also cause the lack of communication and education of parents to children, which can lead the children to have bad behaviours and attitudes. Nevertheless, it can also decrease the ability to educate their kid correctly. For example, they could have wrong decisions, hanging out with the wrong crowd, using stimulants, . . And worst of all, it could lead children to have some mental problems. To sum up, this essay discussed the man reason why fathers and mothers spending a lot of hour at works, and it also combined with the negative impact of this issue. To my knowledge, parents should care about what the son and daughter really need.
Since our life had been better, modern activity forced both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to work
abundantly
and result
fully
, they spend
Did you mean "fewer hours"?
less hours
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opinions argue that this issue can cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this problem and
also
will discuss the problems that will
be caused
due to this fact.

The top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to stay at home in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
is the pressure to afford high living expenses. Nowadays, everything has become more and more expensive, and this requires both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
try to earn money as much as they can to solve their need in life. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this issue is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of their kids' life. I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, always aspires to create a perfect living condition for their offspring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and parental care they spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
is becoming shallower day by day.

The situation of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working for a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can damage the relationship between members in the family. Spending a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of moment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can
also
cause the lack of communication and education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which can lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and attitudes.
Nevertheless
, it can
also
decrease the ability to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
correctly
.
For example
, they could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions, hanging out with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
crowd, using stimulants
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
And worst of all, it could lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental problems.

To sum up, this essay discussed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why fathers and mothers spending
Possible agreement error. The noun hour seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of hours".
a lot of hour
at works, and it
also
combined with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this issue. To my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should care about what the son and daughter
really
need.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo 36 speaking section question 3The man expresses his opinion of the proposal the student makes in the letter. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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