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TPO 36 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to finish a project completely and then begin another project than to work on two or more projects at the same time. Use specific reasons and examples to v.1

TPO 36 - Independent Writing Task It is better to finish a project completely and then begin another project than to work on two or more projects at the same time. Use specific reasons and examples to v. 1
Migration of people from rural areas to big cities is becoming increasing and due to this movement, individuals are leaving their parents back home. There are numerous problem arises because of this trend such as, numbers of old age homes are increasing, but this problem is not permanent if the government takes some necessary steps to overcome it such as, providing education and job opportunities in these underdeveloped areas. The first and foremost issue is increasing the number of old age centres. While the young generation is moving to other developed cities for better education and a better career, their parents who are older are suffering as they don't have anyone at home to take care of them. At this age, they are fragile and demand someone to give them some medical or mental support. Therefore, they are forced to move in the old age homes. To support this point, there was research published by the world senior citizen organization Delhi that recently there was a 15% rise in the old age homes as compared to 10 years ago because mankind have moved abroad to pursue higher education or for better job prospects. There is a plethora of ways to solve this alarming issue. Firstly, the government should come forward and invest some money in outskirt areas to open universities and provide better career options. As a result, humankind will not leave their home because they will get everything in their own town. This will not even encourage people to stay with their parents, but also give a start to develop rural areas. For instance, In the NCR region of India, the Faridabad government has established a shoe factory in Faridabad itself, which is still a developing city, and this initiative discouraged people to move to Delhi for employment. By the way of conclusion, although a number of people are moving to big cities for better options in terms of academics and career this is always painful for their senior citizens as they are left alone at home, the government can start to develop these backdated areas to cope with this issue.
Migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is becoming increasing and due to this movement, individuals are leaving their parents back home. There are numerous
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "problems"?
problem
arises
because of this
trend such as, numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this problem is not permanent if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary steps to overcome it such as, providing education and job opportunities in these underdeveloped areas.

The
first
and foremost issue is increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. While the young generation is moving to other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
career, their parents who are older are suffering as they don't have anyone at home to take care of them.

At this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they are fragile and demand someone to give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical or mental support.
Therefore
, they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. To support this point, there was research published by the world senior citizen organization Delhi that recently there was a 15% rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
as compared to 10 years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mankind have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
abroad to pursue higher education or for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job prospects.

There is a plethora of ways to solve this alarming issue.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money in outskirt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to open universities and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
career options.
As a result
, humankind will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
town. This will not even encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay with their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to develop rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, In the NCR region of India, the Faridabad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has established a shoe factory in Faridabad itself, which is
still
a developing city, and this initiative discouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Delhi for employment.

By the way of conclusion, although a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
options in terms of academics and career this is always painful for their senior citizens as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone at home, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to develop these backdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to cope with this issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 36 - Independent Writing Task It is better to finish a project completely and then begin another project than to work on two or more projects at the same time. Use specific reasons and examples to v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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