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TPO-28 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO-28 - Independent Writing Task Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Are parents today more embroiled in their progeny' s education than were our mothers and fathers? Although some people may give a negative answer on the question, I am prone to buttress it because of the reasons which will be discussed in details below. Firstly, role of parents in today' s society has undergone significant changes since the time of our parents. Norms of appropriate parental behavior has altered enormously and deeds which used to be considered normal and healthy now may have dire consequences for parents. For instance, parents' attention to child' s education used to be optional but now being deeply involved in offspring' s education is not a respectful norm but a duty. A parent who does not demonstrate an interest to child' s life, studying may easily lose his child because the social service may take the neglected child away. Thus parents have to be engulfed in offspring' s life and education is one of the important aspects of offspring’s life. Secondly, contemporary parents have modern technology which allows them being involved in children' s education much more easily. In the past our predecessors did not have a constant contact with educators and school staff. In fact, the majority of parents saw teachers of their youngsters twice a year. Thus, the parents’ involvement was miniscule. However, today the school system has employed such new technology as the internet in general and social networks in particular. For instance, almost all schools are represented on the social web-sites such as Facebook. Additionally to it, many teachers created accounts for their classes as well. Thus today' s father, who is subscribed to the child' s class Facebook page, are well-informed about child' s performance in school, about subjects taught as well as about pupil' s homework. Admittedly, there are some reasons which may allow a person to state that our fathers and mothers were deeper involved in our education. Chiefly, the person may aver that parents used to help their children with homework and consequently they were closer to the progeny. However, I still affirm that helping one' s child with homework does not equal being submerged in the child' s education process. In fact, our fathers and mother were only occasionally involved in our studying but today' s parents are involved constantly. They keep in touch with teachers via cell phones; they monitor children' s marks online; this is another level of involvement. To wrap up, contemporary parents are more involved in offspring' s education because social prospect on the issue has changed dramatically, additionally to it, the advent of modern technology let the parents be submerged in students' performance constantly as a result they a way deeper involved in the process o education then our mothers and fathers used to be.
Are
parents
today
more embroiled in their
progeny&
#039; s
education
than were our mothers and
fathers
? Although
some
people
may give a
negative
answer on the question, I am prone to buttress it
because
of the reasons which will
be discussed
in
details
below.

Firstly
, role of
parents
in
today&
#039; s society has undergone significant
changes
since the time of our
parents
. Norms of appropriate parental behavior has altered
enormously
and deeds which
used
to
be considered
normal and healthy
now
may have dire consequences for
parents
.
For instance
,
parents&
#039; attention to
child&
#039; s
education
used
to be optional
but
now
being
deeply
involved in
offspring&
#039; s
education
is not a respectful norm
but
a duty. A
parent
who does not demonstrate an interest to
child&
#039; s life, studying may
easily
lose his
child
because
the
social
service may take the neglected
child
away.
Thus
parents
have to
be engulfed
in
offspring&
#039; s life and
education
is one of the
important
aspects of
offspring’s
life.

Secondly
, contemporary
parents
have modern technology which
allows
them
being involved
in
children&
#039; s
education
much more
easily
. In the past our predecessors did not have a constant contact with educators and
school
staff. In fact, the majority of
parents
saw
teachers of their youngsters twice a year.
Thus
, the
parents’
involvement was
miniscule
.
However
,
today
the
school
system has employed such new technology as the internet
in general
and
social
networks
in particular
.
For instance
, almost all
schools
are represented
on the
social
web-sites such as Facebook.
Additionally
to it,
many
teachers created accounts for their classes
as well
.
Thus
today&
#039; s
father
, who
is subscribed
to the
child&
#039; s
class
Facebook page, are well-informed about
child&
#039; s performance in
school
, about subjects taught
as well
as about
pupil&
#039; s homework.

Admittedly
, there are
some
reasons which may
allow
a person to state that our
fathers
and mothers were deeper involved in our
education
.
Chiefly
, the person may aver that
parents
used
to
help
their children with homework and
consequently
they were closer to the progeny.
However
, I
still
affirm that helping
one&
#039; s
child
with homework does not equal
being submerged
in the
child&
#039; s
education
process. In fact, our
fathers
and
mother
were
only
occasionally
involved in our studying
but
today&
#039; s
parents
are involved
constantly
. They
keep
in touch with teachers via cell phones; they monitor
children&
#039; s marks online; this is another level of involvement.

To wrap up, contemporary
parents
are more involved in
offspring&
#039; s
education
because
social
prospect on the issue has
changed
dramatically
,
additionally
to it, the advent of modern technology
let
the
parents
be submerged
in
students&
#039; performance
constantly
as a result
they a way deeper involved in the process o
education
then our mothers and
fathers
used
to be.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay TPO-28 - Independent Writing Task Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
464 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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