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TPO 2 _ Independent TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. v.1

TPO 2 _ Independent Task Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. v. 1
The majority of the men and women spend a large part of their adult life at their office, job satisfaction is a crucial factor of individual wellbeing. For most of the peoples' money is the main factor of their satisfaction and it is quite unrealistic to have an expectation of a dream job in this competitive world. One of the main factors for most people is money. That is to say that they have to run their houses, they have some dependent on their shoulder whom they who to feed. They have to pay their bills as well. So, when a person has got enough money from their job they are quite satisfied with their job. For example, a recent report of the Asian Times concluded that 70% of houses in South Asia have only one breadwinner in their whole family, and the whole family is dependent on their salary to pay their bills and do other things. In this competitive world, it is quite unrealistic to have an expectation of a dream job. In other words, most of the graduate students think that they would be able to get their dream job just after their graduation. When they enter into real market, then they realize how difficult is to find a job that they have expected, especially in developing countries. For instance, a recent report suggested that only 10% of people who were fortunate enough to find the job they had expected during their graduation in India. In conclusion, the majority of the people get satisfied with their job if they are paid enough wages to pay their bills and are able to do purchase necessary things in their life and to get a dream job after graduation is quite unrealistic to think.
The majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women spend a large part of their adult life at their office,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is a crucial factor of individual
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. For most of the peoples' money is the main factor of their satisfaction and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
unrealistic to have an expectation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in this competitive world.

One of the main factors for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
money.
That is
to say that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dependent on their shoulder whom they who to feed. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay their bills
as well
.
“So , when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, when
a person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, a recent report of the Asian Times concluded that 70% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in South Asia have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one breadwinner in their whole family, and the whole family is dependent on their salary to pay their bills and do other things.

In this competitive world, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
unrealistic to have an expectation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In other words
, most of the graduate students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after their graduation. When they enter into real market, then they realize how difficult is to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
For instance
, a recent report suggested that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were fortunate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
during their graduation in India.

In conclusion
, the majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they
are paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wages to pay their bills and are able to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
necessary things in their life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
unrealistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay TPO 2 _ Independent Task Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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