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TPO 14 - Question 4Comfort Zone BiasPsychologists have found that when people make important decisions, they often choose to stay in their "comfort zones"; that is, they prefer remaining in comfortable, familiar situations, rather than entering v.1

TPO 14 - Question 4Comfort Zone BiasPsychologists have found that when people make important decisions, they often choose to stay in their "comfort zones"; that is, they prefer remaining in comfortable, familiar situations, rather than entering v. 1
It is true that in today’s busy lifestyle, online classes are sharply increasing with the advent of computer technology. More and more students tend to take online forums due to a lot of strong points and they will completely replace classroom learning. Personally, I think the online environment is the best method for students in the 21st century because of a great many strengths. The first point, one of the main benefits of studying online is learners would gain up-to-date information in a lot of fields of study. This is linked to the fact that those learners can access updated contents at once while the traditional classes’ environment does not. Moreover, access to all resources of online courses are offered, which empower learners to freely choose a wide range of different subjects. For instance, students attending the national high school examination can have diverse opportunities to study in many forums on the internet such as the Moon, the Hocmai forum. Additionally, online learning is a great alternative to the classroom environment, especially for those who could not afford the time and money to take a real course. That means those learners can take online classes anytime if they have a logical arrangement. Also, students could save money from commuting and they may not have to worry about the weather. Take my classmates as an example, the limited time is a reason why she cannot go to a private class. Hence, she chooses to take online courses to enhance her knowledge at home. In conclusion, online education provides various positive aspects for learners. This is because of its unlimited resources as well as a reasonable time for students. Personally, I strongly believe that students should make an important decision about how to take advantage of the power of online courses.
It is true that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s busy lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are
sharply
increasing with the advent of computer technology. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
forums due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
strong
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
points and
they will completely replace classroom learning.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
environment is the best method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the 21st century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strengths.

The
first
point, one of the main benefits of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
would gain up-to-date information in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fields of study. This
is linked
to the fact that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
can access updated contents at once while the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes’
environment does not.
Moreover
, access to all resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are offered
, which empower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
to
freely
choose a wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending the national high school examination can have diverse opportunities to study in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forums on the internet such as the Moon, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hocmai
forum.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning is a great alternative to the classroom environment,
especially
for those who could not afford the time and money to take a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. That means those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
anytime if they have a logical arrangement.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could save money from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
commuting and
they may not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the weather. Take my classmates as an example, the limited time is a reason why she cannot go to a private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Hence
, she chooses to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to enhance her knowledge at home.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education provides various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its unlimited resources
as well
as a reasonable time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decision about how to take advantage of the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 14 - Question 4Comfort Zone BiasPsychologists have found that when people make important decisions, they often choose to stay in their "comfort zones"; that is, they prefer remaining in comfortable, familiar situations, rather than entering v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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