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Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 13
Traveller industry is in great demand in many countries. Although tourism helps the authority to earn a huge amount of money every year, but everyone should be aware about its disadvantages. I agree with the statement to some extent. On the one hand, tourism has a plethora of benefits to countries, travellers and locals. First and the foremost, all the tourists love to explore different countries for their culture and history. Therefore, they travel a lot to various sightseer places. In addition, it spreads the culture, like clothing, food and music of one location to another. Hence, more people are encouraged to visit such places and it could lead to a handsome revenue. Also, more earnings mean development and these funds are used to maintain the visitor attractions and also to build more places. Lastly, with this expanding industry, there are a large number of job opportunities for locals. Meanwhile, this employment results in overall development of all the countries. On the other hand, several drawbacks of tourism should not be ignored. Similarly, the first disadvantage is that it has a deleterious effect on the environment. As people through waste materials in their surroundings and due to lack of waste management, it spreads and cause soil pollution. Moreover, the establishment of new visitor places causes deforestation, which means felling of trees in forests. One of the crucial drawback is spreading of disease due to transmit of viruses. As visitors act like hotspots of some deadly diseases. For example, recently Coronavirus hit all over the world with its deadly effect and its mortality rate was too high. To conclude, in spite of disadvantages the traveller industry has many benefits that progressed the economy of countries, but the government should act to reduce the harmful effects of it in order to serve the humanity.
Traveller
industry is in great demand in
many
countries
. Although tourism
helps
the authority to earn a huge amount of money every year,
but
everyone should be aware about its disadvantages. I
agree
with the statement to
some
extent.

On the one hand, tourism has a plethora of benefits to
countries
,
travellers
and locals.
First
and the foremost, all the tourists
love
to explore
different
countries
for their culture and history.
Therefore
, they travel a lot to various sightseer
places
.
In addition
, it spreads the culture, like clothing, food and music of one location to another.
Hence
, more
people
are encouraged
to visit such
places
and it could lead to a handsome revenue.
Also
, more earnings mean development and these funds are
used
to maintain the visitor attractions and
also
to build more
places
.
Lastly
, with this expanding industry, there are
a large number of
job opportunities for locals. Meanwhile, this employment results in
overall
development of all the countries.

On the other hand
, several drawbacks of tourism should not be
ignored
.
Similarly
, the
first
disadvantage is that it has a deleterious effect on the environment. As
people
through waste materials in their surroundings and due to lack of waste management, it spreads and cause soil pollution.
Moreover
, the establishment of new visitor
places
causes deforestation, which means felling of trees in forests. One of the crucial drawback is spreading of disease due to transmit of viruses.
As
visitors act like hotspots of
some
deadly diseases.
For example
, recently Coronavirus hit all over the world with its deadly effect and its mortality rate was too high.

To conclude
,
in spite of
disadvantages the
traveller
industry has
many
benefits that progressed the economy of
countries
,
but
the
government
should act to
reduce
the harmful effects of it in order to serve the humanity.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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