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Tourism has many negative effects

Tourism has many negative effects 8JNVx
Obviously, tourism has bacome the major global industry for most countries. However, I totally agree with those who claim that tourism can cause certain detrimental impact on the tourist destination both environmentally and culturally. From my perspective is still possible for travellers to minimise such damage by taking certain measures, including the use of eco-friendly transport and materials. One of the main advantages of tourism, its they bring money. They interest our history. So they visit our history places. For instance, Samarkand, Bukhara, Khiva, Kokan, Shakhrisabz and others. Because there are a lot of history towers in there. As well as these places are visited by tourists many times. They purchase our national garments, historical objects. So our country is becoming rich. On the other hand, the negative environmental impacts of tourism are substantial. They include the depletion of local natural resources as well as pollution and waste problems. Tourism often puts pressure on natural resources through over-consumption, often in places where resourses are already scarce. In my opinion, tourism has become a global industry and has changed the expectations of holidaymakers. Something should be done about this before we all forget why we travel to new places.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
bacome
the major global industry for most countries.
However
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can cause certain detrimental impact on the tourist destination both
environmentally
and
culturally
. From my perspective is
still
possible for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
such damage by taking certain measures, including the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of eco-friendly transport and materials. One of the main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, its they bring money. They interest our history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they visit our history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
, Samarkand, Bukhara,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khiva
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kokan
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shakhrisabz
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
history towers in there.
As well
as these
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places
are visited
by tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
our national garments, historical objects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
our country is becoming rich.
On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
environmental impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are substantial. They include the depletion of local natural resources
as well
as pollution and waste problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
puts pressure on natural resources through over-consumption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
Possible spelling mistake found.
resourses
are already scarce. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a global industry and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the expectations of holidaymakers. Something should
be done
about this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we all forget why we travel to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
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IELTS essay Tourism has many negative effects

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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