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Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few between school and university

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few between school and university NWkQj
In this modern era, young generation should discover several experience and knowledge so as they do not lack of information. A lot of people argue that young age should have work experience before they go to university. However, I firmly believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks. Workplace is one of the best ways for young people to explore their ability. They will gain a new experience which they never get in school. Furthermore, when they attend college, this experience will be useful for them to encourage their ability. For instance, there are several schoolchildren who have graduated from vocational high school. They tend to take a job as developer or programmer rather than study in higher education. With work experience, when they attend university, they have more knowledge than another people. Thus, they have a good opportunity to participate some competitions in their college. Nevertheless, I believe that this also gives several drawbacks for young generation. Some young ages who are very interested with their job will forget to study in institutions. Their spirit to learn in academic education will be lost year-by-year. This is because the company offer them with money which they get every month. This salary can make people to forget about their desire to study. In addition, the young people who take a job before they attend college will get less salary than the people who have higher degree. In the fact that people who have a higher education would receive a higher position and higher salary. To sum up, there is advantage if the people have experience in work before they study at university. However, I firmly believe that there are several disadvantages which can affect the future of young generation. Furthermore, the young age should be able to choose what their passion and the best for their next life.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation should discover several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as they do not lack of information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age should have work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they go to university.
However
, I
firmly
believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks.

Workplace is one of the best ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore their ability. They will gain a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in school.
Furthermore
, when they attend college, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
will be useful for them to encourage their ability.
For instance
, there are several schoolchildren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have graduated from vocational high school. They tend to take a job as developer or programmer
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in higher education. With work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, when they attend university, they have more knowledge than another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to participate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
competitions in their college.
Nevertheless
, I believe that this
also
gives several drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested with their job will forget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in institutions. Their spirit to learn in academic education will
be lost
year-by-year. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
offer them with money which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
every month. This salary can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to forget about their desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they attend college will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less salary than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have higher degree. In the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a higher education would receive a higher position and higher salary.

To sum up, there is advantage if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at university.
However
, I
firmly
believe that there are several disadvantages which can affect the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age should be able to choose what their passion and the best for their
next
life.
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IELTS essay Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few between school and university

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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