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Topic Writing: Nowadays, billions of people are using social networks. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Topic Writing: Nowadays, billions of people are using social networks. Is this a positive or negative trend? eABWV
In my opinion, currently, using social networks is a positive trend for billions of people. First of all, social networks areuseful tools for online learning. Nowadays, people can learn or train remotely through the internet. This form helps people save time, money and it is also easy to communicate with the teacher when there are difficult questions that need to be answered. Additionally, social networks have become a useful entertainment platform for everyone nowadays. There are countless entertaining forms such as playing games, watching movies, listening to music. . . Thereby, they help people relax after a long day of studying and working. Moreover, one of the undeniable benefits of social networks is users connection. People can chat together, exchange information and experiences on forums, share information and feelings on blogs. . . From there, everyone will have more friends as well as gain new knowledge about certain topics. In short, using social networks brings several benefits to both society and individuals.
In my opinion,
currently
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend for billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
Possible spelling mistake found.
areuseful
tools for online learning. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn or train
remotely
through the internet. This form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save time, money and it is
also
easy to communicate with the teacher when there are difficult questions that need to
be answered
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
have become a useful entertainment platform for everyone nowadays. There are countless entertaining forms such as playing games, watching movies, listening to music.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Thereby, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax after a long day of studying and working.
Moreover
, one of the undeniable benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
is users connection.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can chat together, exchange information and experiences on forums, share information and feelings on blogs.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
From there, everyone will have more friends
as well
as gain new knowledge about certain topics. In short, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
brings several benefits to both society and individuals.
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IELTS essay Topic Writing: Nowadays, billions of people are using social networks. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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